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Could He Be Right?

21 Jan

Saturday morning coffee with my husband has always been a treasured time.  These days, any time I am off work we have “Saturday morning coffee time” as he no longer commutes to work. (He commutes to the dining room.)  So although still enjoyable, the fact that we can have ‘coffee time’ almost every day, has caused us to take it for granted.

Today, however, was reminiscent of past coffee times.  We picked a topic and began talking.  It was a little one-sided however.  The reason being that today’s topic was my happiness.

Now since it’s about ME, you think I would be thrilled. (I have a plaque that says “It’s All About Me” that my bowling friends gave me… ’cause they know I tend to be a little self-centered when it comes to bowling.)

But I actually was a little upset.  The topic came about because yesterday I mentioned that “I am just not happy these days, and I wanna go away.”

So when my husband began with “Honey, I’ve been thinking about your happiness, and I think I know how to fix it”, I gave him a look.  I don’t always want him to fix things.  Sometimes I just want him to listen and sympathize.

“What?  You don’t wanna hear?”

“Is it gonna make me upset?”, I reply, somewhat jokingly, well aware of the irony in my question.  I could feel a lecture coming on, and I usually don’t respond well to lectures.

“Well, I don’t think so….”,  And so he begins telling me about his plan for my happiness.

I keep my head down, to show that I’m still not too accepting of him ‘fixing’ my problem.  I listen to his knowledge of how happiness is created from within, and not linked to what other people think.  And to find happiness, I need to figure out what I’m good at, what I like to do, and what brings me pride.  And once that’s determined, I can do those things and not need other people’s acceptance to feel happy.

According to him, writing would do that for me.

“You like to blog.  You spend hours a day reading others’ blogs.  You write many yourself.  You read a ton.  You understand words and sentences.  The written word is something that has brought you joy from the time you were a little girl.”

Okay.  By this time, my head has come up a little.  I’m still not too anxious at showing him that I am interested, because that would mean he may be right…. and I’m a little too hard-headed to admit that very easily.

He continues on for a little while.  I meakly throw a few argumentative points back at him. He’s quick with his counter-point.  I give in, and open up my mind a little.

When he finally decides to “quit beating a dead horse” as he put it, I open my David Baldacci book and begin reading.  But inside I’m thinking…. about the possibilities…. about having a goal…. about allowing myself to believe that blogging, writing, reading is not just a way to pass time, but it could be something that would bring me happiness…. and pride.

He stands up to move on to the next part of his day.  I lift my head as he does, pucker my lips for a kiss, and mutter a quiet “Thank you, Honey”.  I think he knows this is my way of saying…  “You may be right.”

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7 Comments

Posted by on January 21, 2012 in Everyday Living, Family

 

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7 responses to “Could He Be Right?

  1. agg79

    January 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Could be? I think he might have nailed on the head (or at least got pretty darn close). If you are unhappy with your situation, you should consider his suggestion. Pursue something you love to do and something you are good as well. You could settle for a job that pays the bills and keeps the lights on, but if you don’t enjoy what you are doing, then it can affect the rest of your attitude (as well as those around you). Writing is a great outlet for your imagination and not everyone is good at it. You ought to at least explore the idea top see if it has legs. You might be surprised by what you uncover.

     
  2. Abby

    January 21, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Okay, so you’re married to a life coach? Awesome!

    My husband’s the same way. He encourages me to do things I know I should just encourage myself to do. They’re good for stuff like that (if you get a good one – husband/life coach).

     
  3. territerri

    January 21, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Your husband is a smart guy. You don’t have to tell him I said so. It’s the woman code. We can’t let them know they are right sometimes! ;-)

    I haven’t had the same conversation with my husband, but I have been having it with myself. I’ve been blogging … what … 5 years now, I think. It’s one of a very few things I’ve really dove into and remained consistent. Last year, I felt like I started slipping a bit. I was writing less, and the less I wrote, the harder it was to write. Then in December I did a month-long challenge to write every day. What a boost that was! (I meant to do it again this month, but I fell off the wagon for a few days) Regardless, I’ve realized how fulfilling it is to me to write and have decided not to let it fall to the wayside again. If you feel the same, you should do what you can to make it a bigger part of your life. There’s enough stress and garbage in this world. Do what you can to bring yourself some fulfillment.

     
  4. shadowrun300

    January 21, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Thanks for all the replies, guys. It’s been a rough couple of months for me. I totally get that I need to have a fulfilling job, and I do. I love the hotel world. It’s a career I persued after teaching, and I am not unhappy with it. It kinda hit me on the head today, however, about what I am unhappy with. I think it’s because I haven’t been working ENOUGH. I have been scheduled an average of 3 days a week since December. I feel like I’m not contributing to the finances, I feel un-needed at work (or they’d be scheduling me more), so basically I feel unimportant at work and at home. When I’m at home, I like to blog, play Word Racer on Yahoo, bake, then sit on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. But I’ve found these activities only bring me happiness if I’ve EARNED them, and as I mentioned earlier, I don’t feel like I’m earning them, so therefore….. I’m unhappy. So his point is to find something to work towards when I’m not working at the hotel… and that may very well be writing. I DO enjoy it, and if I set a goal for myself, it’ll give me something to work towards. I’ve definitely got some thinking to do, but I have a little twinge of excitement in me that hasn’t been there for a while – and I like it. :)

     
  5. towardshealthylife

    January 22, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I don’t know you very much but I know that everytime you comment on my blog it makes me feel better. The advice you write are really appreciated because you have been there and know exactly how I feel. All your experience about dieting, working out, the problems you can encounter and the words to encourage poeple is something that you seems to naturally share with others to help them but it could be monetised in some way. Thanks for all the encouragement you have given me :-)

     
  6. Jules

    January 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    I’m with you what you said above a couple comments…that you feel like you’re not contributing to the finances. That is me completely. I feel really bad about not having a job by choice and I always feel bad about going out and spending any money. I’ve become really critical of how I spend money, even though I really don’t buy anything now…except groceries and an occasional trip to the fabric store.

    I’m like you – I hate getting lectures. I still get them from my mom about what I should do or should have said, and I find myself unenthusiastically saying… “yeah…..yeah……umhm……” and then she usually gets mad at me and gets off the phone.

    Your husband really cares about you and wants you to be happy. There are companies out there who look for someone to blog for them, or you could just write your own way about whatever you want! You could be a bbq critic and write about it! :) Either way, I will read whatever you write!

     
  7. Mike

    January 22, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    Ahhhhh… you and I are in the same boat. I recently took on a new role at work that I absolutely despise. I feel sick to my stomach geting up in the mornings, knowing that I’m going to have to endure another day of crap. I’ve given much thought to doing something else. Writing is something I’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t really know how to start. I’ve been blogging for ages, and I have a couple of writing-related New Year’s resolutions. Although I love to write, it typically doesn’t bring in the income that my current job does, unless you are a best-selling author. I suppose you have to start somewhere, though.

    If you need a “writing buddy” to keep you motivated, let me know. I could use one as well.

     

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