After 20 years of marriage, my husband and I have settled into a very comfortable routine, and tend to just assume that the other knows how we feel…. and most days, we work so hard, and at such different times, that it can be difficult to “work” on our marriage.
We both are pretty good about leaving sweet little notes for each other, and texting each other often – and sometimes the texts are even about things other than the kids’ schedules, and bills, and other family ‘business’. We also go out on a lot of mini-dates: motorcycle rides to a breakfast joint, dinner at a bbq place, bowling… and we like to go for walks, or just have coffee together in our kitchen.
But what I often wonder is whether or not he knows how happy I am when he’s around.
I love sitting at our kitchen bar with him – a cup of coffee each – a computer in front of him – a magazine in front of me. Not saying much, but happy to be together. A lot of times a deep conversation will erupt – most times inspired by him, because my cup of coffee never kicks in until much later. And I wonder if he knows how much I love hearing him talk… I am amazed at how intelligent and well spoken he is, and sometimes my thoughts stray away from what he is saying, and I just focus on him – and his mannerisms – and I’m literally in awe.
And I wonder if he knows how proud I am of his accomplishments. He started a financial business from scratch and turned it into a great success. His knowledge of the business, the market, and people’s behavior is tremendous. I always make fun of him for reading to learn…and watching tv to learn…but secretly I am proud of how much he knows and his ability to teach me (and others… he teaches a business course at a local college as well and is a huge success there too!). And now he’s starting a new business adventure – from scratch – and I have all the confidence in the world that it will be a success.
And I wonder if he knows how much I love hearing him play his guitar and sing. I would much rather him play for me while I exercise, than listen to my ipod. He always shrugs off any compliments I give him, but honestly… he is so talented that I often prefer his version of the songs over the true artist’s version.
I love the kind of father he is to our daughter. She has so much confidence and self-esteem thanks to him. Sure, she drives him crazy at times, just as she does me, but he’s so open with his love and compliments. My heart warms to see how good he is to her.
And me…. I literally thank God everyday that he chose to marry me. I was a shy, unconfident, quiet girl when we met, and he brought out the best in me. He has made me the person I am today – and I hope he knows how grateful I am. He treats me like a princess, calls me “his girl”, and accepts me as I am – faults and all. He supports my desire to work in a hotel, despite the fact that I don’t make a whole lot of money, and he was all for me getting my motorcycle license. It must be scary for him to follow behind me on his own bike, but he never says anything to make me feel like he’s not confident in my ability to handle it. He continues to bowl with me once a week, even though there’s plenty of things he would rather be doing, but he knows I love it, so he does it unselfishly. In fact, that’s probably the best word to describe him – unselfish.
Everything he does is with his family in mind. It can be stressful for him at times – especially when he thinks about quitting his job to start a new business. It’s very risky, yes. But I want it for him. He deserves to be happy, and so this time it’s me who’s doing the supporting. I’m happy to see him doing something for himself, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to help him succeed.
I love him tremendously and I hope he knows.