Express Yourself. Okay, Maybe Not….

31 Jan

Many a time I have looked up at one kid or another as they walk into the room, and I literally have to squeeze my mouth shut to keep my comments from being spoken out loud.  Unforutnately there were a few times my words would fly out of my mouth and dash straight to their unguarded feelings.

“GAWD you need a haircut.  Look how scraggly it is!”

Actually, I’m pretty good about keeping those words to myself, and instead try to tip toe around the problem at hand.

My husband?  Not so much.

“They look like a girl!”  He would tell me of the boys. Sometimes in front of the boys.  “If we’re going to spend $15 on haircuts, they better come out of the salon with shorter hair.”

So I would go tip toe-ing to the kids and talk about their hair.

They would look gloomily at the floor, and mutter “but I like it this way….”

Finally, after years of being the go-between, I convinced them that a ‘styled’ cut could still be somewhat long, but not look so shaggy.  They agreed.  ‘Course it helped that they both began attending a private high school that had a hair cut dress code.

Now we only occasionally have a talk about how they wear their hair.

But at the time, I thought I had it rough – honestly – trying to allow my kids to express themselves, but still keep my husband happy, and knowing deep down myself that they do look scraggily, but not wanting to rock the boat with any of them… it was kinda stressful.

But today I found out that we did not have it bad at all.  NOT AT ALL.

Today I was in Hobby Lobby picking out calligraphy ink for my son, and I could hear a young couple talking behind me.  They sounded sweet enough, and seemed to be very friendly and happy, and were quite polite with the sales clerk.

We both happened to finish up at the same time.  I had yet to see them, but once they walked by me I was shocked!  In fact, I couldn’t help but stare.

The girl seemed normal enough. But her boyfriend just blew me away!  The first thing I noticed was his ears.  They were hanging down to his shoulders.  LITERALLY!  Maybe you’ve seen them before – the big black circles the size of a frying pan pierced through the ear with the lobes wrapped around them…  Since his back was to me, I felt like I deserved to stare.  I wanted to make sure they were actually his lobes around that big ol’ thing.  OMG. I think they were.

When they got to the check out register, he turned slightly.  His entire left eyebrow was framed with little silver studs.  He musta had at least 10 around his brow.

I look lower.

Yep.  Four silver studs in his nose.  Multiple studs in his lips.  Tattoos up and down his arms.  And his pants hanging around his _______ (you fill in the blank).

I don’t even want to imagine about what he’d had done under his clothes.

And all I could  think as I left the store was…

I got on my kids for having long hair?  Never again.


Posted by on January 31, 2012 in Everyday Living, Family, Parenting


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

11 responses to “Express Yourself. Okay, Maybe Not….

  1. towardshealthylife

    January 31, 2012 at 2:09 am

    loll Yeah there are times when we can’t help it and stare…My brother when he was about 15, he started to let his hair grow, turned out that he had very curly hair and we didn’t know before because it was so short. I know my father did NOT like it but nobody else cared and I thought my little brother was kinda cute with all his curls. When he got about 16-17 he started to wear them in a low pony tails and he only cut them about 2 years ago at 30 years So short that I hardly recognised him!

    • shadowrun300

      January 31, 2012 at 2:45 am

      You know, I always thought I had a conservative hair style, but I look back at old pictures, even from when I was a young adult, and I wonder what ever possessed me to wear my hair that way??? We all go through those stages, and think we look good at the time. My boys may look back and wonder why I let them wear their hair long, but I actually hope they look back and remember how much they liked being just a little bit different than everyone else.

  2. Jules

    January 31, 2012 at 2:24 am

    Yes be thankful your kids don’t want to get the gauges in their ears!! I would much rather my kids just need a haircut. Be thankful you don’t have to have THAT conversation!!

    • shadowrun300

      January 31, 2012 at 2:42 am

      So that’s what they’re called? Guages? Do their lobes really wrap around them, or does it just look like it? Ugh. I get the willies just thinkin’ of it. :/

  3. Mike

    January 31, 2012 at 5:18 am

    Yes, their lobes really wrap around them. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. They look like those people from Africa that you’d see on the Discovery Channel with all of the weird piercings and body mutations.

    Your story reminds me of a story of my own. I feel a blog post coming on…

  4. agg79

    January 31, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Well, now. Ain’t he a pretty sight? I bet his momma is real proud. Amazing to see how people will “accessorize” themselves like a pin cushion. Makes me wonder what they would have done if they had gotten a hold of a bedazzler?

    Sometimes, you gotta take the good with the bad. As bad as we may think our kids are, when you look outside the tribe, you may come to realize that there are others out there who have it worse. Sure long hair might not fit your idea of the model child, but at least there are no piercings or tats (at least not yet). It is good that you are playing the mediator in that battle, even if it is a hard role to maintain. IMHO, that is one battle not worth the fight.

    • shadowrun300

      January 31, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      That’s exactly what I think a LOT of times… that my kids are pretty good considering the troubles that many families have. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the issues that bother you, but if you step outside the box – whoa. You realize you ain’t got it so bad. 🙂

  5. Abby

    January 31, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    OH, that is so true! Scraggly hair? There are parents who WISH they just had to deal with scraggly hair!

    It’s interesting that the couple polite and all with the clerk. One of my kids took an art class at Hobby Lobby for about a year a while ago. Some of his classmates were pretty “interesting” in their fashion and hair choices. They were nice kids, though, and very artistic. Still, those guages creep me out to look at. And you know there are piercings in places you can’t see!

  6. shadowrun300

    January 31, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Just another wake-up call for me…helping me put things in perspective.
    And it is interesting that they were so patient and polite with this elderly clerk who was going on and on and on about the frame that they were purchasing. So deep down they’re good kids I’m sure. Just VERY hard to look at. 🙂

  7. territerri

    February 1, 2012 at 3:31 am

    OH I have had such experiences, both with trying to keep the peace between husband and kids AND with the wake-up call that says, “It could be so much worse.”

    I’m glad you’re dose of perspective brought you some peace of mind!


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