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Infomercial

14 Feb

Looking for a sure-fire way to work those muscles that aren’t easily toned by regular exercise?

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This method will work your core stomach muscles more than crunches and planks.
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It will work your shoulder muscles and your upper back muscles better than push-ups.
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It will target your neck muscles – you know, those forgotten muscles that aren’t normally exercised on a daily or weekly or monthly basis.
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It will affect your upper arms as well as your lower arms. In some cases, it’s been known to work on your inner thigh muscles.
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And best of all, it only takes milliseconds to do!
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Those milliseconds will be excruciating, but they’ll be over before you even realize what has happened, and the results will last for days.
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You’ll feel the burn and the ache of muscles you never knew you had.  Even the most dedicated athletes will feel a difference!

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To achieve all this, all you have to do is:

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Violently slam yourself onto the ground, being sure to land on your left elbow.

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That’s it!

You’ll feel the burn for days!

For best results be sure to repeat using your right side.  This will ensure symmetry of your muscle tone.

Yeah, right.

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12 Comments

Posted by on February 14, 2012 in Blunders

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

12 responses to “Infomercial

  1. agg79

    February 14, 2012 at 2:53 am

    Great! I can’t wait to try it out! To think I have been wasting my time running all these years. Does it work better on tile or hardwood floors?

    I figured you would be a bit sore all over after your dive. I hope that there wasn’t any permanent damage. Pop some more Advil or Tylenol and find a heating pad. Perhaps now would be a good time to try out that massage again.

    BTW – kept watching the lasagna recipe just waiting for the guy to fall down…

     
    • shadowrun300

      February 14, 2012 at 3:00 am

      I know, right? Running and toning exercises ain’t got nuthin’ on this! I’m guessing concrete floors would probably be most beneficial. But if that’s not an option for you, I would suggest tile. Just be sure you’re heading slightly downhill, at a pretty good clip, with a wet floor – oh and wearing heels. 🙂

      and the lasagna recipe?? please explain.

       
      • agg79

        February 14, 2012 at 11:44 am

        Oops. My bad. Sorry. When I was reading it last night, There was an embedded video/link right below the “Yeah, right” about a lasagna recipe. A 5 minute video on a guy fixing 4 layer lasagna. Very nice recipe but I kept watching it thinking, what did it have to do with your new exercise program? Must have been something on my computer that picked up the link last night.

         
  2. Abby

    February 14, 2012 at 3:35 am

    Okay! Gosh, I’m thinking of how much time this will save! Maybe you could start a whole clothing line with this new… uh… sport. I was actually surprised and impressed that your soup survived.

    Sorry you’re still hurting from that fall, but I’m not surprised. Sounded rough. I imagine, at first, you were a bit dazed and surprised and numb from adrenaline. Once that wore off, your “workout” was more noticeable. Extreme soup warming!

     
  3. shadowrun300

    February 14, 2012 at 3:42 am

    I would imagine bubble wrap would be the best work out gear for this sport. 🙂
    And kudos to my soup cup! It’s corningware from Walmart with a well-proven spill proof lid!

     
  4. towardshealthylife

    February 14, 2012 at 6:55 am

    lol sorry for laughing but your post was funny and now I feel guilty because you are hurt and it’s why you wrote it… I am surprise to learn that your soup was alright. “I almost killed myself but it ok as long as my soup is safe” 😉

     
    • shadowrun300

      February 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm

      There are some things you put before your own safety. Your children and your food. lol I did lose my appetite after falling though – especially when I felt like I was gonna pass out. I managed to eat it before going to the ER, just because I knew I would need energy.

       
  5. territerri

    February 16, 2012 at 12:03 am

    I’m reading backwards and have clearly fallen behind. This does not sound pleasant and I think I’ll stick with the old-fashioned way of burning calories!

     
    • shadowrun300

      February 16, 2012 at 12:06 am

      See? Running is better than some things….

       
  6. Jules

    February 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    lol. I”m glad you found a way to put humor into your accident. What doesn’t kill you gives you stronger muscles, right?

     
  7. Mike

    February 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Clearly, I’ve been going about it incorrectly all these years. If I call now, do I get two bruised elbows for the price of one?

     
    • shadowrun300

      February 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      Well, you can have your choice. 2 bruised elbows, or a bruised elbow and a jammed finger. I chose the latter. 🙂

       

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