Dashing Etiquette

04 Apr

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I’m gonna keep talking about the disappointing bbq the other day.

I know when you’re trying some place new, there are risks.

But at what point can you turn away?

When we finally arrived at Grumpy’s we weren’t immediately disappointed.  We walked in.  The place looked cozy.  We were greeted by a friendly waitress and seated at a high-top table.  So far so good.

I had seen the menu online before we came, and the pictures looked enticing.  The pics were some of the reason I chose the place. So when we were handed our menus, I knew I was going to order “The King”.

Our waitress, not the one who greeted us when we walked in, was not excited at all to be there.  We asked a few questions, but quit after seeing she wasn’t interested in being helpful.  We placed our order, and within a few minutes it was brought out.

As I mentioned earlier – it did not meet my expectations at all. As soon as our waitress left, I turned to my husband and asked him if he wanted to dash.

Obviously we didn’t feel right about dashing, and I squelched my desire to express my disappointment to the waitress after dealing with her lack of enthusiasm earlier.  And I felt kinda silly wanting to say, “where’s the beef?”

But I still wonder if we had the right to dash?

I would never dine and dash, but is it okay to dash before you dine?

Or should I have sucked it up and let my waitress know that what I was served did not correspond with what the menu described?


Grumpy’s BBQ is gently covered in our signature rub then slow smoked for 12 long hours for the most tender and flavorful pork you have ever tasted!

The King
Smoked brisket sliced & piled high with swiss cheese, served on a hoagie.


Have any of you ever dashed before dining?  And/or have any of you had the nerve to speak up when your meal wasn’t quite what you were expecting?


Posted by on April 4, 2012 in BBQ, Blunders


Tags: ,

15 responses to “Dashing Etiquette

  1. agg79

    April 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    I’ve been tempted a few times, but I’ve never bailed on a check. There was one breakfast diner my club went to that, took over an hour to fix biscuits and gravy. There was an old Denny’s we stopped over for breakfast and, after ordering just coffee, we decided that nothing good would come out of the kitchen, so we paid up for the coffee and left before ordering.

    If it doesn’t look good, I would vote to bail. There have been times we wound up sticking with it because “we came all this way” or “it’s highly rated” or perhaps first impressions are wrong, but a lot of times it is not worth it. Sometimes it’s better to go with your gut feeling.

    • shadowrun300

      April 4, 2012 at 11:25 pm

      I would never bail on a check if I ate the meal. But I was tempted to just leave the meal and go somewhere else. Or tell the waitress that I felt misled based on what the menu said.
      Either way, I was a good girl, and did the right thing – I guess. Part of me feels like I should have spoke up, though. At least for my own peace of mind.

  2. Abby

    April 5, 2012 at 12:54 am

    Hard to say. I’ve never had an experience as bad as you’ve described. Honestly, we hardly eat at restaurants (fast food doesn’t count). We did once “dash” before ordering because the atmosphere just didn’t agree with us. This was after we had been served ice waters all around, so I felt kinda bad for that, but really, the place was a dump.

    • shadowrun300

      April 5, 2012 at 1:28 am

      I can see bailing at that point, BEFORE the order was placed. You used proper “dash etiquette”, but I guess if we had dashed AFTER being presented with the meal, even if we didn’t eat it, it would not have been considered proper. So I’m guessing there IS a “too late now” moment when dashing should not be done. Which is why we didn’t….

  3. meleahrebeccah (@meleahrebeccah)

    April 5, 2012 at 1:09 am

    Oh hell yes. I have walked out of restaurants and movies. If I’m not thrilled, I’m outta there.

    • shadowrun300

      April 5, 2012 at 1:28 am

      I would have guessed that about you. 🙂

  4. meleahrebeccah (@meleahrebeccah)

    April 5, 2012 at 1:10 am

    But I would NEVER bail without paying.

    • shadowrun300

      April 5, 2012 at 1:31 am

      I’m with you…. I’d feel too guilty about leaving without paying. But walking out, paid or not, is a definite sign that you’re not happy with the meal, the service, the movie, whatever it may be.

  5. towardshealthylife

    April 5, 2012 at 1:37 am

    I generally just don’t go back there and that’s it! If I go to a place that is usually good and have a bad meal, before I pay, I explain to the waitress what was wrong with it and what the chef should have done instead. If I return to that place again I explain exactly how my meal should be done when I order.
    Picture are often misleading but the description should be right and you could have turned your meal back to the kitchen but if they don’t care there is no point on doing it and you might get someone grumpy 😉

    • shadowrun300

      April 5, 2012 at 1:45 am

      That’s why I didn’t say anything! I didn’t want to make the chef “grumpy-er”. Who knows what my meal would have been like then! 🙂
      So, I just won’t go back. I know I’m going to hit some places that don’t meet my expectations, and I’m okay with that. I’m mainly bothered with the fact that the menu said “piled high” and my three measly slices didn’t quite match up to that description. It was almost comical that it was named “The King”.

      • towardshealthylife

        April 5, 2012 at 2:31 am

        Maybe you can write a review somewhere online because they asked for it and you could spair other custumers the same disapointment 🙂 (I did it about a restaurant once, it made me feel better and I got a little revenge out of it too 😉

  6. timkeen40

    April 6, 2012 at 2:37 am

    I have a grandmother – one that I love dearly – that was never happy in any restaurant she ever went into. Even as a child I wanted to hide under the table. So I don’t complain much even when I want to. I just don’t go back.

    That, of course, is just my take.


    • shadowrun300

      April 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      Thanks for stopping by. I suppose I’m like you in a way. I don’t like to draw attention and I avoid confrontation most times, which is why I didn’t do anything at the restaurant. Instead, I just take out my frustrations in blog form. 🙂

  7. Mike

    April 8, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    I can’t say I’ve ever skipped out on a check, even though I’ve been tempted. There have been times we’ve waited almost 45 minutes for our food, and the service was abysmal. I just left no tip, a frown face on the check, and we stopped going back.

  8. Jules

    April 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    I haven’t left without paying before, but I have left 0 tip a few times (if I pay cash), and only if it was because of service. The food isn’t the waitresses fault, but she should at least give a damn about how you like it and if it is accurate…in that case, a request for the manager might do the trick, although it’s always risky sending food back to the kitchen or getting something new after complaining. Even if you complain in the nicest way, the way the server reports it to the cook might not be so nice.

    You could always write a negative review on food websites or google. That’s normally what I do since a lot of people research restaurants and other places before going to them for the first time.


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