I checked my phone after working the late shift the other night, and not surprisingly I had a text from Mario. She’ll usually send me texts after school, knowing I won’t get them til later. But there are some things she just wants me to know.
This time, she wanted me to know that she had asked Nick to be her confirmation sponsor, and he said yes. She wanted to know if this is okay with me.
It’s probably best she sent this via text, because my immediate response was NOOOO!
Nick is a 16 year old boy. so NO!
I have never met Nick. so NO!
I have a feeling Nick may like you or you may like him.
So NOOOO! He is not going to be your sponsor!
That’s what I wanted to shout at her. But Mario is 14. And a girl. If I’m not careful how I respond to her in person, I could risk her coming to me for advice in the future.
So instead I told her I would like to talk to her about Nick. I asked her why she thought he would be a good sponsor. I asked her if she liked him as more than a friend. I asked her if he liked her.
I felt immediate relief when I found out that she just thought of him as another friend. And that Nick actually likes Sophie anyway. She told me he was in the same religious youth group as one of her other friends, and she feels comfortable talking about religion with him.
I also found out she had asked her 18 year old brother, Chip, first. He told her he was honored but he didn’t think he was the right person for the job.
As she talked, I felt better, but I still didn’t feel comfortable with Nick as her sponsor. I view it as a commitment, and when you’re 14 and 16, and not related already, you shouldn’t be in a commitment. No matter what kind it is.
I found my “out” when she informed me he wasn’t Catholic.
I asked her to talk to her religion teacher and make sure he was eligible to be her sponsor. She balked at the idea, because she didn’t want to hear the answer she was afraid might be coming. But to my surprise, she asked the next day.
She was disappointed for sure, when she found out he had to be Catholic. I was elated, since I wouldn’t have to be the one to say no.
More than anything, I am proud of her for doing the right thing by asking. Sure, they may never have found out that he’s not Catholic, but she realized that deceiving them wasn’t the right thing to do.
I’m thinking I’ll be able to talk her into asking her much older girl cousin to be her sponsor. Unless I can talk Chip into saying yes. After all, I am totally impressed with the young adult he’s becoming.
Either way, I’m wiping my brow.
But I’m afraid this will be an easy situation compared to what’s coming up.
Terri, Help! I don’t think I’m ready to be a mom of a teenage girl!