My name is ShadowRun.
And I am an obsess-a-holic.
There. I said it.
My biggest obsession, and I have many, is making sure things are just right.
I knew it was time for an intervention when I woke up at 6am this Sunday morning, long before everyone else was up.
The house was dark and quiet.
I tiptoed into the kitchen, carefully opened the fridge and removed the cupcakes I had baked and frosted the night before. Working quickly, so as not to get caught, I carefully de-frosted all the cakes.
It was a painstaking process, but it needed to be done. I needed it to be done.
The original frosting tasted great, but the texture and lightness of it was not what I was looking for to top my Boston Creme Cupcakes. It did not match the image in my mind of how these cupcakes should look or taste.
But after many hours in the kitchen yesterday, baking and mixing and frosting and tasting, I decided it would have to be good enough. Hubby had said they were good enough. Amp had said they were good enough.
Yet long after the cupcakes were stored, I agonized over how good enough they were and how NOT just right they were.
Which brings me to why I got up early to satisfy my just right addiction.
I could feel the stress diminish as soon as I topped the last cupcake with a much more appropriate frosting. I finally felt like I could confidently bring these to the baby shower and feel good about people eating them.
So why do I think I have a problem?
Well, this obsession to have things just right has caused me to throw away huge amounts of food. It’s taken copious amounts of my time. It’s led to ribbing from my hubby. And it stresses me out!
And this coming week will emphasize my addiction. I leave in three days for my MEcation. I should be ecstatic, yet all I can think about is how just right things need to be before I go.
The bathrooms need to be cleaned even though I’ve lived with them dirty for the past 2 weeks. But what if hubby has someone over while I’m gone?
My car will need it’s 3rd washing of the week, because it’s gotta look good during my long drive. I might run into someone I know.
Plus! I need the perfect outfit for the one major event I will be attending while I’m away, and I STILL haven’t found one that’s just right. Good enough, yes, but not just right!
Why can’t I be okay with good enough?
Perhaps settling for the title of this post is a good first step to my recovery. I’ve spent 10 minutes trying to come up with one that is just right, and have decided to finally leave it be and head to bed.
I’ll probably get up in the middle of the night to change it.
I’ve done it before….