17 Sep

My name is ShadowRun.

And I am an obsess-a-holic.

There.  I said it.

My biggest obsession, and I have many, is making sure things are just right.

I knew it was time for an intervention when I woke up at 6am this Sunday morning, long before everyone else was up.

The house was dark and quiet.

I tiptoed into the kitchen, carefully opened the fridge and removed the cupcakes I had baked and frosted the night before. Working quickly, so as not to get caught, I carefully de-frosted all the cakes.

It was a painstaking process, but it needed to be done. I needed it to be done.

The original frosting tasted great, but the texture and lightness of it was not what I was looking for to top my Boston Creme Cupcakes.  It did not match the image in my mind of how these cupcakes should look or taste.

But after many hours in the kitchen yesterday, baking and mixing and frosting and tasting, I decided it would have to be good enough. Hubby had said they were good enough.  Amp had said they were good enough.

Yet long after the cupcakes were stored, I agonized over how good enough they were and how NOT just right they were.

Which brings me to why I got up early to satisfy my just right addiction.

I could feel the stress diminish as soon as I topped the last cupcake with a much more appropriate frosting.  I finally felt like I could confidently bring these to the baby shower and feel good about people eating them.

So why do I think I have a problem?

Well, this obsession to have things just right has caused me to throw away huge amounts of food.  It’s taken copious amounts of my time. It’s led to ribbing from my hubby. And it stresses me out!

And this coming week will emphasize my addiction.  I leave in three days for my MEcation.  I should be ecstatic, yet all I can think about is how just right things need to be before I go.

The bathrooms need to be cleaned even though I’ve lived with them dirty for the past 2 weeks.  But what if hubby has someone over while I’m gone?

My car will need it’s 3rd washing of the week, because it’s gotta look good during my long drive. I might run into someone I know.

Plus!  I need the perfect outfit for the one major event I will be attending while I’m away, and I STILL haven’t found one that’s just right.  Good enough, yes, but not just right!


Why can’t I be okay with good enough?

Perhaps settling for the title of this post is a good first step to my recovery.  I’ve spent 10 minutes trying to come up with one that is just right, and have decided to finally leave it be and head to bed.

I’ll probably get up in the middle of the night to change it.

I’ve done it before….


Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Baking, Blunders, Vacation


Tags: , , ,

17 responses to “Intervention

  1. Sandi

    September 17, 2012 at 6:01 am

    That is amazing, what a completely opposite post this is to my own Sunday musings. I am so glad I’m not a perfectionist, it really does sound stressful! I’ll attend your intervention in spirit, it certainly does sound as though you might need one, haha!

    • shadowrun300

      September 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      It was your post that really got me thinking about how I need things to be perfect. I think my life would be much less stressful if I could be okay with ‘good enough’. My biggest need for perfection just applies to things that will be viewed, read, or tasted by other people. If others aren’t going to be involved, I am totally okay with imperfection. It really IS something I would like to work on. :/

  2. Abby

    September 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    If nothing else, this post helps me to realize I’m not the only one obsessed. Crazy, right? (and I don’t use that word lightly). Are there group interventions?

    • shadowrun300

      September 17, 2012 at 3:04 pm

      It’s gotta be good for some things. I mean, I’m sure my guests appreciate that I have to have things “just right”. But honestly! In other areas it drives me crazy. I’m not a cleaning fanatic, but if someone else is gonna see it, it MUST be clean. And if someone is going to eat my food, it MUST be perfect. And if I’m gonna bowl, I MUST bowl well.
      *heavy sigh*
      I think group intervention might be key. Even if it’s just a small group…

  3. agg79

    September 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    They say that perfection comes at a price. I am mildly OC (AR) but not to the level to refrost cupcakes at 0600 (especially on my day off). That definitely puts the C in crazy ;-). That said, I applaud your drive and dedication to not accept a second rate product. That is a testament to your character. Still, you still need to find time for yourself. Perhaps your upcoming mecation will give you some time to recharge the batteries.

    • shadowrun300

      September 18, 2012 at 4:21 am

      I have drive and dedication! That sounds so much better than OC and insanity!
      My mecation should help me to at least let loose and not worry so much about being perfect. But, boy am I stressed while trying to prepare for it…. Only 3 more days….

  4. towardshealthylife

    September 17, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Lol It’s weird how a personal quality can work at our advantage(for you at work) and also at your disadvantage (like fixing cupcakes at 6ham) Maybe you will find some kind of balance on your “Youcation” 😉 or maybe just accepting yourself as you are 🙂

    • shadowrun300

      September 18, 2012 at 4:30 am

      Yes! I don’t want to wish away this obsession I have, because it is good for some things, but at the moment it’s creating a lot of stress. What’s nice, is that pretty soon I will be on my way, and then there won’t be anything more I can do. I’ll HAVE to accept whatever decision I’ve made up until that point!

      • towardshealthylife

        September 19, 2012 at 2:08 am

        Hope you have a good time with yourself wherever your going 🙂

  5. Rock Chef

    September 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Next time you do something JUST RIGHT – mess it up a little afterwards and walk away.

    • shadowrun300

      September 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      🙂 You make it sound so easy! I’ll try it and see how long I last before the NEED to fix it overtakes me. lol

  6. meleahrebeccah

    September 21, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Oh my god! I can TOTALLY relate to this. I am a control freak, and, a perfectionist.

    “Why can’t I be okay with good enough?”

    I wish I could be OKAY with “good enough” too!

    I know being a control freak, and, a perfectionist, only stresses me out even more, but I don’t know how to stop it! If you ever figure it out, please share with me!

    • shadowrun300

      September 21, 2012 at 4:39 am

      YES! Being like this is a stress in itself! And for me, if I can’t have it just right, I usually go to the opposite direction of not caring at all, or not doing it at all.
      If I ever figure out the key to being okay with “good enough”, I will definitely share it with you! I ask the same in return…

  7. territerri

    September 22, 2012 at 1:49 am

    I think it’s okay to be a little bit obsessive about certain things. Your cupcakes are your pride and joy. You’re developing a reputation for amazing cupcakes. How can you settle for good enough when you’ve become known for spectacular?

    And I completely get it about the bathrooms. I have always been one to clean house BEFORE we leave for any length of time.

    • shadowrun300

      September 22, 2012 at 4:08 am

      It’s always nice to have a clean house to come home to after vacation. Since I’m the only one leaving this time, I have a feeling my efforts will be for naught. Either way, I still feel better that I left with them clean.
      And you’re right. From here on out my cupcakes have to be spectacular! Thanks for giving me the okay to have them “just right”! The re-frosted cupcakes were deemed the favorite btw. 🙂

  8. Jules

    October 8, 2012 at 1:43 am

    I know exactly what you mean, and I”m afraid I’m the same way. Your cupcakes turned out to be AMAZING! Everyone loved them and I’m so happy you made them. I know you put a lot of time and effort into them. Heck, Mike ate three of them in one night!

    • shadowrun300

      October 9, 2012 at 1:42 am

      Awww! Thanks for saying so! I really did want them to be just right. I had a lot of fun at the shower! It was so good to see you again!


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