Because I’m the Mom. That’s Why.

19 Oct

Over and over again today I repeated the phrase, “Because I’m the mom.  That’s why….”

Only it wasn’t being said to my kids.

I said it once to Hubby.  The rest of the time I was mumbling it under my breath.

We have been asking Amp to clean his room for weeks now.  His response is always the same.  Deep nod of the head and a grunt, followed by…… nothing.

A few weeks ago. Hubby and I found a note on the counter in his writing.  Something about spiders and declaring war and taking charge quickly.

Thinking his fear of spiders was the best motivation to get him to clean his room so we could vacuum and spray, we once again explained the benefits of having a clean room, with no secret hiding spots for spiders.

No luck.

Last night, after finding another spider in his room, he decided it was easier if he just slept on the couch upstairs.

Okay, NOW he’s stepping into my territory.  Something needed to be done. So today, while he was at school, I declared war against his room and the spiders, and fought the battle by myself.

And believe me, it was ugly.

I worried a little about what I might find under his bed, he being almost 16 and all, but luckily it was the usual dust bunnies, peanut butter cracker wrappers, Lego pieces… pencils… coins… tacks… tightly folded notes.

Under his desk I found empty yogurt containers, a few spoons, tons of water bottles, and the match to many of his socks.

I threw all the trash away, recycled the bottles, and put the rest in respective piles.  Then I went in search of containers.

I found a box for the notes.  I can proudly say I did not peak at any of them.

I found an old coffee can to contain all the pens, pencils, markers etc.

And for the coins, all 4 dollars and 57 cents of them, I found the perfect container in my own closet…. the one I dip into when he wants extra money for a treat after school.  Yep. Perfect place to store the money that I found earned by cleaning his room.

After all the furniture had been pulled out, vacuumed behind, and dusted, hubby sprayed the edges of the room. He wondered aloud why I was cleaning the room and not Amp, and reminded me that at some point he’s going to have to start doing this himself.

I assured him I’ve been asking myself the same question, and giving myself the same lecture, and my response is always the same…

Because I’m the mom.  That’s Why.


Posted by on October 19, 2012 in Family, Parenting


Tags: , , ,

16 responses to “Because I’m the Mom. That’s Why.

  1. towardshealthylife

    October 19, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Unfortunatly I think I have carried my “teenager messy room habit” into my adulthood. I am so much better than I was of course but still not Mom clean(my mom not me). I saw a movie once where the Mom took her daughter’s bedroom door away as punishment for something loll It must be effective with teenagers as all they want to do is lock themselves into their room loll I am keeping the idea for when my daughter is a teenager but you can use it if you need 😉

    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      Actually, we HAVE taken the door of the hinges a couple of times when my oldest was younger. Not sure if it was that effective for him, but it can be a terrible punishment for others….
      I’m not exactly a neat freak, but I am concerned about health, so living in a room that’s full of old food wrappers and junk laying all over the floor where spiders and critters can hang out, worries me a little. Since he wasn’t cleaning it, I did. I couldn’t help it.

      • towardshealthylife

        October 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm

        I probably would have done the same while complaining about me having to do it of course loll

      • shadowrun300

        October 19, 2012 at 1:12 pm

        Oh yeah… I was complaining… and fretting… and muttering… but still cleaning.

  2. lkrubino

    October 19, 2012 at 4:15 am

    After celebrating our fifth and youngest child’s 18th birthday this past week, I can say with experience and great confidence……they do end up cleaning their own rooms—when they move out on their own! Our messiest of all at age 16 is now very nit-picky about his personal space at age 28. And, one of the girls in our family known for keeping doritos in her bed now seems appalled that I might flop on her bed with my dinner plate as we share some time together at her house!
    Hang in there. There is hope!

    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2012 at 12:46 pm

      You know, that’s what I kept thinking too. That when he moves out on his own, he’ll have more of a desire to keep things clean. Until then, I’ll keep nagging him to clean up, and after I while, I’ll just go do it myself.
      I suppose I was like that as a teen too. Now I understand how my parents felt about my room – candy wrappers and all.
      Congrats on getting your youngest to 18! 4 more years and I’ll be there myself! :/

  3. The Thin Lady Inside

    October 19, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    LOL! Very funny! Yes… because you’re the mom! And even when it must be aggravating to clean your “big boy’s room” it must feel good somewhere inside to still be your boy’s mom… I mean… you’re still his mommy and … yes, we want our kids to be independent and all but… at the same time… it must be good to still do stuff for them like when they were little… My girls are still very little… but even when I get frustrated at their mess sometimes I remind myself it’s a blessing to have those messes! 😉

    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2012 at 1:01 pm

      Exactly. Even if he will be 16 next month, I’m still his mom, and still want to take care of him and help him out. His response after seeing it was, “You didn’t have to do that…” I couldn’t tell if he was happy about it, or a little worried that I was in his room. lol 🙂 Either way, he was able to sleep in it last night, without fearing spiders. My job here is done.

  4. meleahrebeccah

    October 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Ha. My motto is “Because I said so.” And my son is 100% responsible for cleaning his own damn room, and doing his own damn laundry!

    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2012 at 10:58 pm

      Do you have to beg and plead and threaten to get him to do it? Or is he like you and WANTS to clean it? If so, please share your secret!!

  5. Abby

    October 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Oh, I have so been there done that. Male children have a total different concept of “clean” than moms do, it’s an established fact! And I have taken that same bull by the horns and just done it myself. If cleaning is wrong, why does it feel sooooo right??
    When the oldest turned 18, something weird kicked in. He is surprisingly tidy. I don’t know if I can wait that long for the others to kick in.

    • shadowrun300

      October 20, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      Things changed when my oldest two turned 18, but cleanliness wasn’t among them. At least they shower daily now – that was a struggle for a while. :/

  6. territerri

    October 20, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    This post is such a comfort to me. You just described Jake’s room. And I have been known to venture in there and clean too. I know he should do it, and when I ask him, he does. But he doesn’t do it to my standards. He doesn’t reach under the bed for the granola bar and Pop Tart wrappers. He doesn’t dust the dressers. And his idea of tidying up is more along the lines of simply stashing things where they won’t be noticed. So I clean it. And I hope that finding a place of his own soon is something he’s thinking about. Though I worry what a place of his own is gonna be like!

    • shadowrun300

      October 20, 2012 at 10:22 pm

      You shoulda seen the dust in that room! I had no idea! And I don’t even want to think about my oldest’s room. I’m calling in the experts when he moves out….
      My daughter can be just as bad. And she’s famous for stashing things out of sight and telling me her room is clean. I really hope, when they are on their own, that they’ll take a little more pride in their space. Until then, I’ll keep after them to clean up, and then clean up after them! 🙂

  7. agg79

    October 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Yea, sure. He’ll start cleaning it himself soon. You keep telling yourself that story. Ours is out of the house and married and those lessons never did stick when he was here. We’re hoping that his new “mom” will learn him better. I left the room maintenance to his mother, but his car fell under my domain. Seems like every time he came home, I would wind up washing and waxing it (I get that nasty habit from my dad) just to make sure it was still the same color. Somehow those lessons never really stick until they are out on their own. Next time? Might I suggest a HAZMAT team?

    And dust? There were times we cleaned out his room and you would have to carbon date some of the things just to figure out how old they were.

    • shadowrun300

      October 22, 2012 at 12:43 am

      Well, ya know, if he doesn’t end up being any cleaner after he moves out, he’ll be able to sleep on his own couch to avoid the spiders.
      Do you have HAZMAT’s number? I’ll be calling as soon as my oldest moves out….
      I get your car habit – I’m the same. I clean my car regularly, but no other cars get cleaned, until I eventually do them too. And I never drive them! I guess if it only bothers me, then I should be the one to clean it.


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