I managed to survive another 7 day stretch of work… if you can call having only one melt down “surviving”.
It happened the morning of my 6th day. I’d just finished breakfast and knew I should be heading to the shower to get ready… again.
Suddenly I was overcome with stress. I’d rather not relive it all, but basically, I felt completely overwhelmed. Amp is still struggling with organizational skills and his grades are reflecting that. Link has been diagnosed with some severe eye problems. The house is in shambles and we are expecting company in a few days. And I had to go to work. AGAIN.
My hubby tried to be sympathetic, but even he couldn’t contain his feelings. He bluntly told me that something needs to change. I allowed myself a good cry, and then showered, put on my happy face and proceeded to work.
When I awoke yesterday morning, I quickly assessed what I was supposed to be doing. Imagine the relief I felt when I realized it wasn’t work! I had planned a long run for the morning, but I could only manage 7 miles – and that was tough. As I was stretching on the driveway afterwards, I couldn’t help but think how inviting the concrete looked. I easily could have laid down on the cold surface and slept.
Instead, I plopped my behind in my breakfast chair and sat there until it was time to take my daughter bowling.
Things got much better after that. I came home to our guests. Hubby had the smoker going. I whipped up my favorite corn bread muffins and coleslaw, and before long we were having a fantastic pulled pork dinner.
Then this morning, over coffee, hubby and I talked. We’ve got some hard decisions to make and some big changes ahead of us, but for the first time in a long time, I feel a sense of relief. My kids need me, and I need to be able to take care of them. I can’t do that by working so far away, for so many hours a day, and for so many days a week. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed and when I am at home, I just want to hide from it all.
I feel renewed at this point. I have another 3 days off of work, and plan to do some soul searching and job searching. Hubby plans to do the same. It’ll take time, but it’s a relief to know that change is in the works.
First things first, however….
I’ve got some baking to do, and a brand new KitchenAid mixer to try out! Happy Birthday to me!