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Oh What a Beautiful Morning….

01 Nov

I don’t remember the last time I felt like singing, or the last time I actually appreciated and cherished and lived my days.  Quite an eye opener these last 5 days have been for me.

After working 7 days in a row, it took almost 3 days off for me to recover and feel whole again.   After another two days off, my inner me decided to peak out.  I didn’t even realize she was hiding.  That’s how consumed with work and my commute I have been.

Most times, on my day off, I laze around in my sweats and a hat all day.  It’s sad when I can’t even get up the gumption to shower.  But this week, I have actually dressed up to go out – you know, in jeans and a nice sweater, and washed hair!  I met an old friend for breakfast, I met with they eye doctor about my own eyes, and I drove Link to his eye doctor appointment.  I felt human.  What an incredible feeling!

Along with that, I baked a few items, whipped up some chicken and cheesy potatoes for suppers, dusted and vacuumed the house, did a few loads of laundry…. all without stress!

The realization that I have an overwhelming job, really hit me yesterday.  As I was waiting for Link to see his doctor, I got a call from my hubby.  I explained to him that he hadn’t been seen yet.  We’d been there for 2 hours, but had been assured that it wouldn’t be much longer. I’d brought my stack of magazines to catch up on, and my resume to edit, so I wasn’t concerned one bit.  My hubby was though.  “Isn’t it crazy that we spend our entire lives doing this kind of stuff…”  meaning driving the kids, waiting around, driving them back…. and my response?

“I don’t spend my time doing this.  I spend my time working.”

It quieted us both for a second.

This is the kind of stuff I should be doing.  I should be taking care of the kids, and driving them around, and being there for them. That doesn’t mean I can’t work, it just means I shouldn’t have a job that is so consuming of me that I have nothing left to give. Especially if I’m not getting the pay and respect that I deserve.

That’s why it’s a beautiful morning!  I go back to work tonight, but the sun’s shining.  It’s a brisk 38 degrees.  I ran 8.5 miles, and could have run more…

and I have hope…. and a lighter heart…. and a good feeling about the direction I am heading.

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11 responses to “Oh What a Beautiful Morning….

  1. agg79

    November 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Work has a way of getting in the way of enjoying life. I think it is great that you got some me time off to do the things that are REALLY important. Life’s way too short to spend it on the job. You need the time for yourself and your family to recharge the batteries and stay sane. Sound like you got a lot accomplished.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 2, 2012 at 6:00 am

      I thought I loved my job. I DID love my job. But this business has a funny way of sucking out all your energy and forcing you to move on. And I guess there’s always fresh young blood to fill the empty spot. I’m dispensable. 😦
      But I’ve accepted that now, and have realized what’s important, so I’ll ‘dispense’ on my own….. as soon as I figure out what I want to be when I grow up…. that’s the tough part now.

       
  2. meleahrebeccah

    November 1, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Yanno, it really struck me when you said you didn’t eve realize the REAL YOU was buried underneath all that working and commuting. I am THRILLED you had those extra days off – if only to realize how much you needed that. And because you washed your hair and put on big girl clothes.

    🙂

    I am also hopeful in the wake of your epiphany things in your life are about to change drastically – FOR THE BETTER!

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 2, 2012 at 6:04 am

      Oh, I sooo hope so!
      I’d forgotten how fun it was to put on big girl clothes, and fix myself up for something other than work!

       
  3. Abby

    November 1, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    “This is the kind of stuff I should be doing. I should be taking care of the kids, and driving them around, and being there for them. That doesn’t mean I can’t work, it just means I shouldn’t have a job that is so consuming of me that I have nothing left to give. Especially if I’m not getting the pay and respect that I deserve.”

    … nothing to add, except YAY!!

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 2, 2012 at 6:11 am

      When I first read this, I didn’t realize you were quoting me, so I was thinking – “What?? That IS what she does!” (and I’m quite jealous!) 🙂
      I wanna be like you…. but without the crosswalk and tutees. lol
      Aw heck, I’ll even do that if I could have your commute! Let me know when June’s had enough….

       
  4. territerri

    November 2, 2012 at 2:24 am

    I think it’s so hard for us in this day and age. We women tend to think we have to do it all – work, keep a perfect house, cook fabulous meals, stay on top of all the obligations on the calendar – and we think we’re still going to be able to be completely dedicated wives and moms. It’s so hard to let go of some things. We put all this pressure on ourselves to do it all. I think it takes something like your situation sometimes to knock us over the head and remind us what’s really important. I’m so glad you got time to rejuvenate and reprioritize.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 2, 2012 at 6:19 am

      I think the things I let go of, were more important than the things I kept. I guess the important thing is that I realize it now, and I’m willing to make the changes necessary to move forward. And I have a supportive husband who just wants me to be happy, so that really helps!
      And yes, I put a TON of pressure on myself to do it all. I needed a good head knock!
      Now I just gotta figure out what I want to do next……

       
  5. Rock Chef

    November 2, 2012 at 11:03 am

    It feels good to do the old fashioned parenting stuff, doesn’t it? In the end, work is just work, but your kids are your kids.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

      I was a full time Mom while my kids were young. I never thought I would need to or have the desire to continue staying home as they got older. Too bad I don’t want to continue to teach. Teachers’ hours are very conducive to parenting! 🙂

       

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