A Letter My Young Self

03 Nov

Dear Shadowlescent,

Knowing what I know now, there are a few things I’d like to share with you.

First, I know you’re a shy young girl, too timid to speak with others or even look them in the eye.  But rest assured that although you will always be a little shy with a big group of people, and you will still be intimidated by people who you feel are better in some way, eventually you will gain some confidence.  For the most part, you will learn to accept who you are and even be a little proud of yourself.

You’ll always love your quiet time, but it will be a wee bit harder to come by as you get older.  And you’ll never outgrow your love for reading in quiet place, especially with a yummy snack.

But be warned, there will come a time when those yummy snacks will catch up to you, and you’ll go from the skinny little twerp you are, to, well, a bigger twerp.

You’ll never outgrow using food for comfort, but you will find yourself drooling over spinach and oranges, and oatmeal and bananas, and chicken and veggies.  And only then will you allow yourself a treat of ice cream.  Every. Single. Night.

You’ll have your heart broken by a guy you thought was the one.  You’ll cry your eyes out, throw out all the invitations, cancel the church and hall, but keep the ring.  Just because.  But when you really do meet the one, it’ll become quite clear that that break up was indeed the best thing to happen to you.

Soon after, your good friend at work will try to convince you to go on a blind date with her boyfriend’s roommate. Don’t fight her for too long.  Trust me.

Because you will eventually marry this man.  He will treat you like a princess, and give you everything you could ever want… including a baby girl.  (He’ll think that you’re just going to have another boy, since you already have three boys, but if you put on your sad face, he’ll melt and give in.) This is the guy who will change your life for the better and give you that confidence that I spoke about earlier.

You’ll go to school for a computer science degree and realize there’s too much math involved, so you’ll switch to your real dream and study to be a teacher instead.

And you’ll use that degree, for oh, about 3 years, and by then you’ll have way too many babies to be able to work a full-time job, and take care of all the diapers and bottles.  And the cost of a babysitter is about equal with your salary, so you’ll just stay home and have yet another baby. (Yes…the girl.)

Probably the biggest shocker you will have is when you utter the words, “I don’t want to bowl anymore.”  I know, right?  But believe it.  Once you’ve accomplished bowling a 300 game and averaging 200, you’ll expect to do that all the time.  And when you don’t… well, you know yourself… you won’t want to do it anymore.

What else can I tell you?

Oh yeah…… Appreciate your “girls“, don’t be embarrassed by them.  There will come a time when you’ll wish you had that size back.

And, remember when you told your mom you would never treat your kids that way, and she said, when you have kids you’ll understand. Uh,…… she’s right.

When you’re about 30, you’ll start running to offset all the snacking you did.  And soon you’ll start to love running.  I know, right? Running the mile in gym class was so hard, but someday you’ll want to run in a half-marathon.  For real.

And if you thought that was a surprise, wait til you hear that someday you’ll have that Mustang you’ve always dreamed of… and you’re very own motorcycle! You’re going to love the thrill of it!

Finally, after all this, the most important thing I want you to know, is that…..

You’re a good kid.  It’ll take a while before you realize it, but your kind, gentle, eager to please personality will begin to shine through.  So hold your head up.  You’re worth it.


Your grown-up, but not quite matured self,



Inspired by the prompt to “write a letter to your young(er) self”.

Much more fun than complaining about work again.


Posted by on November 3, 2012 in Everyday Living


Tags: , ,

12 responses to “A Letter My Young Self

  1. The Thin Lady Inside

    November 4, 2012 at 2:13 am

    That’s so beautiful! I am so glad you shared this! It got me crying… I don’t know why… I also cried with the movie tangled early… ah! Crazy hormones! …. But whether I am crying for hormones or not… it’s really beautiful… I loved it! I feel like I know you better… and made me think of how many conversations I’ve had with thin-lady-teen 🙂 … I might write a letter to her soon too! 😉 Love ya!

    • shadowrun300

      November 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm

      I teared up a few times too! I think back to how shy and self-conscious I was, and it makes me sad. I feel lucky to have been able to grow out of it a little, although some of those thoughts continue to hang with me.
      It really was fun to write, so I recommend writing to thin-lady-teen. 🙂

  2. territerri

    November 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Shadowlescent sounds so much like Terrilescent! I think we were similar creatures then as we are now! 🙂

    I love this letter, how kind you are to yourself and the way you accept all the pieces of your life and recognize how they’ve all been leading you in the right direction. You’ve definitely grown up.

    • shadowrun300

      November 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      I’ve often thought about how similar our feelings and personalities are. Seems as we get older, we’re less focused on our insecurities and more focused on things that are important, like kids and birds.
      I’ve got a long way to go, but I like the direction I’m heading. I’d say I’m still GROWING up, however. There’s still parts of me that need to mature… but I actually like some of those parts, so I’m not rushing them along.

  3. agg79

    November 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Wow. Amazingly straight to the heart. Such sage wisdom from one who has traveled a few miles down the road. Such a beautifully written advice looking back to those days we we were younger and knew everything. I’ve shared some of the same lessons as you’ve had and could offer up the same advice to my younger, more stupid self, but I probably wouldn’t have listened to some old fart giving me his two cents. I think a lot of your advice could be given to some younger people today. Excellent word to live by.

    • shadowrun300

      November 4, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      Oh yeah – when I was that age, I’da never listened to my advice. My kids are that age now, and I feel like I can relate to them completely. I try to be sensitive and understanding and let them learn on their own, but part of me wants to just tell them what to do so that they don’t have the same regrets that I do.
      I really enjoyed looking back on myself as a teen, and comparing it to who I am today. I feel like we are two totally different people.

  4. meleahrebeccah

    November 4, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Oh!!! I love LOVE love this letter!

    my favorite part was this:

    “And, remember when you told your mom you would never treat your kids that way, and she said, when you have kids you’ll understand. Uh,…… she’s right.”


    • shadowrun300

      November 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm

      I chuckled to myself as well! I cringe when I hear myself saying the same things my mom used to say. And I get the same eye rolling from them that I used to do (in my mind of course….)

  5. Abby

    November 4, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    “Shadowlescent” = brilliant!
    And look at you, all grown up! This is a great letter of 20/20 hindsight. I think as we get older, we stay pretty much the same inside, but hopefully wiser. Never stop learning.

    • shadowrun300

      November 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

      Thank you! I was pretty happy with myself for conjuring that one up!
      It’s funny, as I was writing, and even now as I continue to think about it, there are so many things I could tell my young self. I wouldn’t have listened, and if I had, I probably wouldn’t be who I am today. 🙂

  6. towardshealthylife

    November 7, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    Such a nice post! If we could really go back in time to talk to our young-self!

    • shadowrun300

      November 8, 2012 at 6:05 am

      Thank you! I guess I’d really want my young self to know that she will be comfortable in her own skin someday. Or at least more than she was….


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