Bah Humbug

Christmas is fast approaching and I have yet to get into the spirit.  In fact, the last couple of years has found me more and more scroogified.

It began a few years ago when my youngest daughter, Mario, found out who really brought the new TV and satellite dish to our house.

I’d like to say it was her mean big brothers who spilled the beans, but sadly, it was me.  And not in a sweet, patient, understanding way like we did with the boys.

Nope.  I was stomping up the stairs, angry that they had “broken” the TV, and I was grumbling something about how I’m not going to buy any more expensive items if you can’t take care of them!

When suddenly, Mario burst out crying.

I  shot her a confused look, as she sobbed.

“What?”  I demanded.

“I thought Santa brought those things…….”

my heart sunk.

All thoughts of the broken TV were suddenly gone and I was consoling my baby girl.

She was 8 or 9 at the time, and probably had some inkling that we were the ones playing Santa, but to hear it so bluntly was obviously devastating.

That situation itself didn’t turn me into Scrooge, but the magic of Christmas seemed to disappear with no one believing anymore.

We’ve tried to keep it magical.  The past two years we’ve told them not to leave us any lists.  They could write them for the relatives, but we were going to surprise them, just as Santa might.  This has actually caused us more work, but it’s forced us to think of them and what would cause them to squeal with delight.

And it’s worked.

We’ve also kept up with the Christmas Morning Scavenger Hunt.  After all the presents under the tree have been opened, the game begins.

It takes about 15-20 minutes for them to run around the house, finding their next clue.  Some of them can be pretty tricky, (Hubby’s awesome at writing clues) but the last clue leads them to their “big” present.

I don’t care how old you are.  This is fun.

And we’ll probably do all these things again this year, but Scrooge is putting up a good fight.

Some of it has to do with the over-commercialization of Christmas.

But most of it has to do with my own happiness.  There are so many questions right now, that I’m feeling pretty lost.  Should I change jobs?  Should we move?  Should Hubby get a job?  Should he look here or in Tennessee?

aarrgh!

There’s hope for me though.  Last night, while doing my exercise routines I listened to my favorite Christmas CD – Amy Grant’s Home for Christmas.  Grown Up Christmas List, Breath of Heaven and Mary, Did You Know were the songs that sparked a glimmer of hope.

Then during my run this morning, I listened to my iPod Christmas Playlist while sweatin’ in the 63 degree morning weather.  What?!?

Although the temperatures of late don’t feel Christmasy, I’m starting to feel a little of the spirit.  I’m hopeful I can snap out of my doldrums and begin to enjoy the lights, the decorations and the joy that this season has to offer.

And, if you’re willing to give, I will happily take any advice on how to keep the magic alive once the kids have grown.

Hurry!  Before it’s too late!