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Peace

02 Jan

I’d like to make this post all about me.  And how flippin’ sick I’ve been for the past week.  And how it’s made me do uncharacteristic things like skip my ice cream treat.  And skip my coffee this morning.  And drink a bottle of orange juice.  (yeah – I never drink juice)  And sleep while it’s still light out.  And go a day without turning my computer on.  And I haven’t run or exercised since before this gawdawful bug took control.  And if that’s not bad enough, I think the flu bug invited a virus or two in for a visit.  ‘Cause now my sinuses are poundin’, and my throat is sore and hoarse, and I’m. Just. A Mess.

But.

I’d rather this post be about my hubby and his dad.  So I’ll quit whining about myself.

For the past few months, my hubby has spent a tremendous amount of time taking care of his parents, especially his dad.  Because we live in the same town, he is called first whenever anything is needed.  And because he works from home, he’s viewed as the one who has the time because the other siblings have to work.

So over and over again he would drop what he was doing and unselfishly take care of whatever they needed.  He’d mumble a bit to me about it, but whenever he’d return he always had some funny story about his dad.  I sensed he enjoyed spending more time with his dad, but it’s still difficult to be interrupted when he is trying to get a business off the ground.

On one of his last trips to the hospital, the docs mentioned having hospice come in. It was a hard conversation to have, but Dad and hubby seemed to accept it.   Once in the car, they drove silently for a while.  When Hubby broke the silence and asked him what he was thinking, his Dad said quietly.  “I think I want one of them gyros from Dairy King.”

Typical.

With as sick as his Dad’s been lately, he still enjoys his treats – whether it be White Castle burgers, or McDonald’s Cherry Berry Chillers, or Dairy King’s gyros, or Hostess Cherry pies.

When Hubby was told by the Hospice nurses that Dad had only a few days left to live, but would require round the clock care, it was an easy decision for him.  He would be the one to provide the care.  He came home, packed a few things, and headed back to his dad’s.  The nurses taught him how to roll him over, clean him, change him, swab his mouth, etc.  They left that evening, and hubby settled in for the night.

Throughout the night, whenever Dad awoke, Hubby would swab his mouth and hold his hand.  Around 4 am, Hubby noticed his breaths coming further and further apart.  He woke his mom, and together they sat with him while his dad took his final breath.

He passed away very early New Year’s Day morning.

I am so proud of my husband.  Not many people could have been so nurturing.  He was rewarded by being able to say goodbye to his dad, and he’s left with the knowledge that he did everything he could to make his dad’s final days a little easier.

My father in law will be missed tremendously.  He was a caring, generous, hard-working man.  And he obviously did a great job raising his son.

They are both at peace.

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15 Comments

Posted by on January 2, 2013 in Family, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , ,

15 responses to “Peace

  1. The Thin Lady Inside

    January 2, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    That’s sad and beautiful… I am sorry for your loss and feel for your hubby … but what a wonderful thing that there’s no remorse or “I wish I had been there” or “I could’ve done better” feelings… what an example to follow… May your FIL rest in peace. (I hope you’re all better soon)

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 2, 2013 at 9:15 pm

      Thank you, TLI. We’ll miss him, for sure. Hubby may even find himself missing the many trips to the hospital with him. He’ll have to have a gyro in his honor.
      I went to the doc today. I have high hopes I’ll be better soon. :/

       
  2. Sandi

    January 2, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Both very sad and very moving to read. My thoughts are with you all today. Also I do hope your flu and virus move out of home very soon!

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 2, 2013 at 10:01 pm

      Thank you Sandi. Thoughts from sunny Australia will be nice to have!
      I must be providing a comfy home for the little bugs. They’re quite reluctant to leave.

       
  3. shammy

    January 2, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    What a lovely caring husband you have.

     
  4. territerri

    January 3, 2013 at 12:19 am

    Not many are so lucky as to be loved and nurtured through their passing from this world. Your hubby clearly has a very generous heart. Caring for a loved one as he dies must be one of the more difficult things that is asked in this world. Hugs to you, your hubby and your family as you mourn the passing of a father and grandfather.

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 3, 2013 at 12:39 am

      I can’t say I would have been so willing to do what he did, but my hubby definitely has a caring and generous heart. Thanks for the hugs. I’ll be sure to share them with the family.

       
  5. Abby

    January 3, 2013 at 12:52 am

    Aw, I’m so sorry, it can’t be easy even when expected. And I’m glad your hubby was so thoughtful to take over for the hospice nurses like that. Many would’ve just left it to them. I’m sure it made a wonderful difference to your father in law, and you’re right. He’s at peace
    Thanks for sharing tidbits of his personality. Very touching and sweet.

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 3, 2013 at 1:15 am

      Thanks Abby. I think it really did make a difference for his dad. (And his mom.)
      His dad really was funny at the end. He was able to crack jokes about himself and laugh at Hubby’s jokes about him. I think it’s the closes those two have ever been.

       
  6. agg79

    January 3, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I am so very sorry. I think your husband is an incredible son for spending those final few bittersweet hours with his dad. I can only imagine how hard it was for him and the rest of the family. God bless them both. Thank you very much for sharing this with the rest of us. It reminds me that life is too precious to waste it on trivial things.

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 5, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      Thanks for your kind words Agg. I only hope I can be be near as compassionate as he for my parents if needed.

       
  7. Rock Chef

    January 4, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Difficultt times, but it sounds about as good as it can get. Your husband did the right thing.

     
    • shadowrun300

      January 5, 2013 at 1:25 pm

      That’s what I think too. His passing went as well as it could.

       
  8. meleah rebeccah

    January 8, 2013 at 12:15 am

    My whole entire heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you all of my love.

     

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