Driving home from work today, I turned the final corner and gazed up our quiet street.
Not one car was in the driveway. Not. One.
True, Amp was at a friends, and Hubby was at a gig, but Link’s car no longer occupied its usual spot, and Chip’s has been gone for about a week now.
Seeing the completely empty driveway made me fully comprehend what is happening. My kids are growing up and moving out. What made me think I was ready for this?
A few days ago we visited Chip in his new place, just 10 minutes from us. He’s so proud of his old, run down trailer and happily showed us around. His bed was made, his clothes were hung up, and his floor was free of dirty dishes. (NOW, he keeps his room clean.) We got to meet the two cats he and his friend recently adopted, and we listened eagerly as he told us about the adult things he was doing – setting up a PO box, getting the internet hooked up, switching electric, gas, and water into his name – and all the while we’ve done a pretty good job of letting him be.
But as we left, I hugged him like I may never see him again. I used to go days without talking to him while he was at home, but now that he’s out, I find myself wanting to speak with him all the time.
And Link! Sheesh! I literally could not wait for him to move out! (For his sake, not mine.) Yet when I was saying my goodbyes to him, I started crying. I tried to explain that I really am excited for him….., and I know this is a great opportunity…., but it kind of loses it’s meaning when it’s said between sobs. As I type this, he is probably just entering Ohio. I hope he remembers to text me once he’s in his new “home”, but if not, I will remember Abby’s advice not to helicopter. He’s almost 21 after all….
Then Mario posted on her FB page that she can still remember her first day of kindergarten and now she’s starting high school. I knew she was starting high school, but I didn’t KNOW she was starting high school. I mean, it never really hit me that my baby was growing up until she posted that. I didn’t think my heart could sink any more.
In the midst of all these changes I’m trying to bake and frost 10 2-layer cakes after coming off a stretch of working 11 out of 12 days. I’ve only had one meltdown, and of that I am proud. However, the cakes are due Thursday so the chances of another one will increase dramatically in the next few days.
I’ve accepted imperfection in the cakes, though, which has helped ease some of the pressure I feel. And I’ve reminded my co-worker I’m not a professional so the cakes will not look exactly like the cakes she’s showing me in the pictures, and that has eased some of my stress. AND I finally threw out a number for how much I thought I should charge and she didn’t cringe. Whew. Things are looking up.
But when the madness slows down at the end of the week, I’m afraid the the quietness of the house is going to hit hard.
Yeah, I’m not sure I’m ready for this…