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Tough Decisions

05 Sep

I awoke before the sun came up, eager to consult with my physician, Dr. ShadowRun, to see if I might possibly be able to run again.  It seems like my foot has been healing nicely, but after a short 5 minute test on the treadmill, I was given the thumbs down.  Hmph.  Now I gotta wait another week.

Hard to be too sad, however.  The weather here has been phenomenal.  After my non-labor Labor Day, I went back to work for one day before having another day off.  THIS day off has been very labor filled, but as I sit here now, I’m enjoying the bright sun shining through my dust free screens, and through my dog-nose-print-free windows and onto my freshly vacuumed and scrubbed floors.  The windows are open allowing a nice breeze through the house, along with the loud clicking of the cicadas.  Mercy!  I think they’ve taken over our neighborhood!

As annoying as they are, Mario’s dance teacher has been even more so.  In the last couple of weeks 3 of the 9 girls on the dance team have quit.  Suddenly Mario wasn’t as excited about the program as she once was, and I can’t blame her.  With only 6 girls they’ll never be able to compete with the other schools, and the cost of the program and the uniforms is so high, that we began to wonder if it was worth it for her to stay in.   On top of that, she was giving up Scholar Bowl to dance and would have had conflicts with the school play.

We talked about her options for a long while.  She expressed her concerns about quitting since she’d made the commitment already and because the other girls would really be in a predicament if she were to quit.  I offered to email her teacher to see if she thought the program would be worthwhile with only 6 people.

Her response was, “the team is down to 5 people now that Mario is out.”  Then a few seconds later, Mario received a FB notice that her teacher had posted another girl had quit.

I was floored.  Not once in my email did I state that she was quitting, yet she assumed the worst, and then made it public right away on FB!

I emailed her back,

Ms. Dance Teacher,

Perhaps you misunderstood my email.  I was just trying to get your opinion on the future of the dance program. However, I see that you’ve already made the assumption that she has quit, so perhaps it’s best if Mario focuses her efforts on Scholar Bowl and the play.  These activities seem to be more suited to her interests and abilities.

Sincerely,

ShadowRun

She replied with the answer I was looking for the first time around, but a little to late in my opinion.  Mario had the push she needed to quit and move on to activities she’s more interested in.

We’ve never condoned quitting after a commitment has been made, but in this situation, I feel we made the right move.  I’m shocked that her dance teacher is being so immature, even to the point where she’s making Mario apologize to the other girls on the team.  (None of the other ‘quitters’ have been asked to do so.)  Mario feels bad enough as it is, and was only going to stay because of those girls, but for her to be ASKED to apologize and ONLY her, makes it seem like she’s being punished.

I can only hope that Amp, who has her as an English teacher, isn’t being punished too.  Lord knows, he doesn’t need any more obstacles to get in the way of him passing.  He’s got plenty of his own.

The relief we feel now that the decision has been made outweighs the guilt we feel about her quitting.  She came home from Scholar Bowl today pumped about her teacher and their team.  Tomorrow she’ll try out for the school play, and I know she’ll absolutely love that!  She’s learned dance isn’t her thing, and I’m quite confident she understands that her quitting the dance team has some repercussions, but her own happiness in high school is just as important.

decisions

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14 Comments

Posted by on September 5, 2013 in Everyday Living, Parenting, Running

 

Tags: , ,

14 responses to “Tough Decisions

  1. agg79

    September 5, 2013 at 3:03 am

    Wow. I usually reserve my opinions on others but, in my opinion, that dance teacher is a real beotch. To respond to Mario over FB and make her apologize to the rest of the team? I am sorry but that is her problem, NOT Mario’s. Mario has gone through enough turmoil to dealing with this stress and she shouldn’t have to apologize for making the right decision. What about Ms Queen Diva Dance teacher apologizing to the rest of the team for driving off everyone else?

    Sorry. but my parent gene kicked in there. I think Mario did the right thing, even if she feels bad about it. She has to do what makes her happy and I applaud her strength to realize it wasn’t working and to do something about ti. IMHO, these are the moments that build character

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 5, 2013 at 2:46 pm

      The decision WAS stressful for her. She didn’t want to let the other 5 girls down, but with members dropping like flies, it wasn’t going to be much fun. From the beginning Mario stated that dance wasn’t what she was hoping for, but she was going to stick with it. The teacher just made it easy for her to drop, since she made the assumption she was dropping. My maternal instincts were kicking in too. I just about called her and went off, but then I took a breath, and tried to respond in a professional, respectful way. THEN I found out about Mario being called into her office and criticized for quitting so late in the game, when others had done the same thing, and I wanted to go off on her again. I’m still holding my thoughts in, though. Sometime it’s best just not to do anything.
      We’re all happy now. (and we hope she never ends up having her as an English teacher in the future….)

       
  2. The Thin Lady Inside

    September 5, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    Sorry I haven’t stopped by for a few days… I’ve just been super busy but here I am… I am sorry your daughter had such an immature teacher… Mario should definitely not apologize… that’s crazy! glad she has a great mom to support her! 🙂 … Sorry about the fact that you can’t run yet… but I am happy your foot is getting better and better!

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 5, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      Hey! Good to see you again! Just got back from your “place” so I know how busy you’ve been!
      My foot is definitely better, but not good enough to run. I have to let it heal completely otherwise it could just get worse. My elliptical and I are becoming really good friends. ugh.

       
  3. Rock Chef

    September 5, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    We never forced our kids to stick with things like this if the shine wore off. Of course, they always tended to quite the week AFTER we had shelled out for the uniform/ballet outfit/etc.

    Anyway, my the tutor’s reaction it looks like the class is doomed, so Mario should not feel bad and certainly should not apologize for leaving!

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 5, 2013 at 3:44 pm

      There comes a time when the kids are old enough to be able to weigh the pros and cons and make the decisions for themselves. We talked it through and feel we made a good choice. She’s happier. WE’RE happier. 🙂 (anybody need a size 11 pair of dance slippers?)

       
  4. Abby

    September 5, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    Hmmm, sounds like that boat was already sinking. Time to bail out. And sounds to me like the problem is with the CAPTAIN of that tub!! I’m glad Mario is free of that and able to pursue other interests.
    And good for you for listening to your “doctor”.

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 6, 2013 at 6:06 am

      Definitely! I’m not sure guilting someone into staying on board is the best way to keep the ship afloat. It’d just go down a different way.
      My doc is a tough one, for sure, but she’s right. She’s ALWAYS right. And she’s smart. And beautiful. And right.

       
  5. llcooljoe

    September 6, 2013 at 10:19 am

    I never listen to my doctor. That’s probably why I’m an unfit wreck. 😀

    That quote is so true. It’s so important to let your kids do what they want to do, although they do need some guidance and an occasional nudge in the right direction.

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      In this case, I am my doctor, and I’m shocked that I’m listening to myself. I usually push through the pain, but this time I’m trying to be smart. I’d like to be able to continue running and the older I get the smarter I have to be.
      You’re right. She still needs guidance, advice, and nudges, but in the end, it’s HER life. She’ll make some mistakes along the way, and regret some of her decisions, but learning how to handle them will enable her to grow – and learning how to deal with immaturity in some adults is important too. 🙂

       
  6. meleah rebeccah

    September 7, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    ” The weather here has been phenomenal.”

    Same here! I am loving the cooler temps and the fact that I can actually sit outside and enjoy the fresh air.

    What a shame about the dance team. That blows.

    “The relief we feel now that the decision has been made outweighs the guilt we feel about her quitting.  She came home from Scholar Bowl today pumped about her teacher and their team.  Tomorrow she’ll try out for the school play, and I know she’ll absolutely love that!  She’s learned dance isn’t her thing, and I’m quite confident she understands that her quitting the dance team has some repercussions, but her own happiness in high school is just as important.”

    Oh good. I am very happy to hear THAT!

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 9, 2013 at 1:38 am

      I hate to imply that I want summer to be over, but I really do enjoy the cooler temps!
      And yes, Mario seems to be much happier now!

       
  7. territerri

    September 11, 2013 at 12:53 am

    I think Mario made the right choice where the dance team is concerned. Considering that teacher’s immature reaction and handling of your questions, there’s no way it was going to be a positive experience.

     
    • shadowrun300

      September 11, 2013 at 1:10 am

      What’s crazy is that Mario had planned on staying because she felt guilty about leaving just 5 girls on the team, even though others were dropping without any concern. But she didn’t want to stay since the team was so small. I just wanted to hear the teacher’s opinion on the dance team’s future, but she was so quick to judge and assume, that she actually made the decision to quit fairly easy.
      So now she has quit dance, but she’s joined Scholar Bowl, the play, the yearbook, and the newspaper. Yikes.

       

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