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Soft

16 Oct

I’ll admit I’m a softie. I give in to everyone. My strong desire to make people happy often overrides the rules.

My guests love that I am. I’m well liked because I’ll go the extra mile to accommodate their wishes, no matter how absurd some of them are. And I’ll often bend the rules to make them happy. With my job, it’s okay that I’m soft….. to some extent.

Being soft isn’t always a good thing. I understand that. My kids would have benefited more if I had been a bit more steadfast with my own rules. They’ve developed a slight problem with self-discipline and I fear it’s from years of having a softie for a mom. At three, Chip had me figured out. He told my hubby once: “If Mom tells me I can’t have a cookie, then I just do this (pout face) and she gives in.” Well who wouldn’t?? If you saw his cute little pout face, you’d give in too.

Even so, I’m not too sorry that I’m so soft. They’ve developed sweet, caring personalities and I’m content to believe it’s because of me.

Last night at work, I was surprised to find out how soft I really am. I greeted our compulsive liar night auditor with my usual friendly “hello” and heartfelt “how are you doing tonight?” I was a bit surprised to find out he was troubled. For 10 minutes, he spoke to me about how disrespected he feels, and how disappointed he is with the management. He went on about how hard he works (which he does…. he’s just hard to get along with), and how none of it seems to be noticed by them. He told me how he appreciated the little notes I leave for him, thanking him for all he does to help the morning shift out. And he told me he appreciated how I went to him personally after being promoted to Supervisor – a position he’d been vying for long before I was hired – so hard feelings wouldn’t be felt.

But when he began talking about how disappointed he was that the managers seemed to not notice his efforts, his lip began quivering and his eyes watered up. He kept his composure, but I could tell this really bothered him. I wanted to be able to help him feel better. I wanted to go to the managers and say, “Hey. Be nice.” But the truth is, he’s so difficult to get along with, and his desire to be right all the time can be detrimental to our guests as well as the other employees. In fact, I know that the managers would like to see him leave because of it. They’re in the process of hiring his replacement. He just doesn’t know it.

I agree with them. He’s not a good fit at our hotel, and we would all benefit if he goes. But now. Sigh. My heart is softening and I want to help him. Of course, I don’t work with him for any length of time, so the aggravation of doing so hasn’t been felt by me for a while. Sort of out of sight, out of mind. Yet I haven’t forgotten what he’s like. I’m reminded often by other employees.

I’m tempted, however, to talk with the managers about possibly placing him in a smaller hotel – one that doesn’t see as many guests throughout the night, and one that requires only one night auditor per shift. Less interaction with guests. Less interaction with employees. This way, we’re not letting him go per se, we’re placing him in a hotel that’s a better fit and where he could possibly thrive. After all, he DOES work hard and follows procedures to a tee.

Then I wonder what the heck I’m thinking. The guy is a compulsive liar, he asks for tips, he’s assertive and aggressive, bossy and demanding, with guests and employees alike.

He’s gotta go.

But…. he almost cried….

which makes me want to give in…..

Sheesh. It’s hard being soft.

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16 Comments

Posted by on October 16, 2013 in Family, Parenting, The Hotel

 

Tags: , , ,

16 responses to “Soft

  1. Abby

    October 17, 2013 at 2:50 am

    Don’t give in to the (pout face)! Well… yeah, totally give in if it’s your kid wanting a cookie, but not the difficult lying night auditor!

    Do you think he knows he’s difficult to be around? He must’ve had other evidence before? Sounds like he would have had troubles at other jobs because of it. Might the almost crying be part of the act? I just don’t want him to take advantage of your softness and manipulate you into his schemes.

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 17, 2013 at 5:15 am

      Luckily I don’t have much say in the matter. It’s management’s decision, and I think they have their mind made up.
      What bothers me the most is that I know he’s “sick”. At the same time, he’s a 60 year old man and needs to learn what IS and is NOT ok. I think he knows people don’t like him, but he would never admit that the problem is his.
      I don’t think he was acting in front of me since he knows I’m not a decision maker, but I’m the only one who shows any real kindness towards him, so he was opening up to me. Why couldn’t he just have asked for a cookie?

       
  2. Rock Chef

    October 17, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    Sounds like he is in the wrong job to me – OK, so he got upset, but his attitude etc does not sound ideal, certainly not the sort of person I would want to deal with if I stayed at a hotel. An hotel?

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 18, 2013 at 1:59 pm

      He definitely doesn’t have the attitude to work in an environment where he has co-workers. And he has no feelings of empathy which makes him appear difficult to guests as well as those with whom he works. So yeah, although I had a weak moment, I haven’t forgotten WHY the managers don’t respect him.

       
  3. llcooljoe

    October 18, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Hmm you are a softie, doesn’t sound the right job for him, but I’m not sure what is if he lies and is aggressive. Maybe a bank manager? Ha.

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 18, 2013 at 9:18 pm

      Ha! Perhaps a politician? He’s very believable and can poor it on thick. Just can’t get on his bad side…

       
  4. lottajoy

    October 18, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    THE SOUND OF REASON: Be grateful he’s leaving before YOU end up on his bad side.

    THE SOUND OF ME: I am such a soft touch that I recently ended up being the center of internet gang violence! I was trying to straddle the fence and make “nice nice” until both sides fired on me.

    AND, Joe is just as bad. One of the neighbors down here figured out he was a soft touch for any request. While Joe was granting requests, (money, food, cigarettes) I was representing Pippy Longstocking at two “war is fun. let’s kill everyone” sites. Then the neighbor “told” Joe he needed a ride to Tampa. (THREE HOURS AWAY and the tolls amount to $50) Joe said “no”, just as I was eliminating any further trips to the neanderthal’s sites.

    Is there anything I can do for you? Yep. That’s me.

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2013 at 2:27 am

      I remember your cigarette story. I think I would have been the exact same way even though I knew I was being taken. At least the first couple of times. πŸ™‚

       
  5. territerri

    October 18, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    You have a good heart. You understand that everyone has faults, and you see the real person behind the faults even in extreme cases like this one.

    I wonder if losing his job will teach him a lesson. If he’s let go, will anyone HONESTLY tell him what really holds him back? If not, he’s unlikely to recognize it on his own and improve. If he’s placed somewhere else, will that really change anything? Or will it only hide his troubles better than where he is now?

    It’s a tough situation and I can appreciate how sorry you feel for him. Maybe you can talk to him, gently and help him see what he needs to do differently.

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 19, 2013 at 2:49 am

      Losing his job would not teach him a lesson. He’s been written up a few times, but doesn’t really change. I suppose if he would listen to anyone, it would be me. And perhaps I should talk to him. YOU all know how I feel about him, but HE does not know. HE thinks I like him, and that’s what I want. At the same time, I don’t want to get too involved. He’s made enough mistakes, that the managers want him out. I just have this desire to want to help him find a place he can thrive. I suppose that comes from wanting my own son to find a place he can thrive. Everybody deserves a chance – even at 60 years old.

       
  6. The Thin Lady Inside

    October 19, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Ah! “softness” I know about that… my friend… you are who you are … and every virtue can become a defect… but if you remove the defect … then you get rid of the virtue as well… so… being soft is what you are… and is part of the very good things you’ve taught your children… you even mentioned that… so … be soft… and feel bad for the man… sometimes we can’t understand everything that goes on inside a person… sometimes the rudeness/bossiness is part of a defense mechanism? I don’t know… but… don’t get in trouble… you could probably just help him see what’s wrong with him? In a nice way? Like you say… he doesn’t even seem to know!! I like the story of King David who killed Uriah to keep Uriah’s wife… and then a prophet came and told him “what would you do to the man, who having tons of sheep killed another shepherd because he wanted THAT shepherd’s sheep?” King David was so angered to hear someone in his kingdom would do something like that and said that person is vile and needs to pay! The prophet then told him “King David, that man is YOU” David was shocked… he was so blind! but the analogy made him see! this is not that big of a deal and doesn’t even resemble the Bible story (just reminded me of it though) and made me wonder if there’s a way you could “help him see” without getting in trouble? Be soft! πŸ˜€ that’s why so many love you!

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 22, 2013 at 2:41 am

      Our night auditor IS King David. Perhaps I should be the prophet. I wouldn’t get in trouble, necessarily, but I need to make sure I act with my head and not just my heart. πŸ™‚

       
  7. Meleah Rebeccah

    October 21, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    I’m a total softie too! And the difficult soon-to-be-replaced coworker practically crying would have made me feel badly for him too!

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 22, 2013 at 2:45 am

      It’s definitely hard to watch a bull headed, assertive, “strong” man’s lip quiver and eyes water. But he’s not understanding what he’s been told by management too many times. They’re not looking for him to work hard… they’re looking for him to be a team player and to be more customer oriented. As hard as it is, it’s best he move on. It can be hard to teach an old dog new tricks….

       
  8. agg79

    October 23, 2013 at 1:42 am

    I could tell you were an old softie when you said yes to all those cakes/treats for your co-workers. Sorry I have been dawdling on my response, but this one hit close to home for me. I have been down that exact same road as you regarding a co-worker. As much as you want to help, as much as your heart goes out to him at this time, I keep thinking he made this bed all on his own and now he has to lie in it. I am sorry for him, but if he cannot learn to work well with others, he can become that one kink in the chain. I have had an employee who was very dedicated to his job but he was pure poison to the group. To keep him would mean losing a few people and probably destroy the morale of the team. Besides, one of my pet peeves is lying. If someone is tagged as a liar, any form of trust is destroyed and hard to get back. As hard as it may seem at the time, it is better off for him to move on (for both sides). I know it may be painful, but things will work out.

     
    • shadowrun300

      October 23, 2013 at 4:45 am

      Up until that day, I was wanting him out as well. Poison is a great way to describe what he does, and I KNOW it’s time for him to go. I just had a weak moment. πŸ™‚

       

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