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We Run Together

15 Nov

I gotta give a shout out to my hubby today.  He has been a total rock star these last few months, in more ways than one.

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Not long after we moved into our new house, he took a road trip to Nashville to record some of the songs he’s written.  Only his biggest fans received a copy of his album.  I stole a few of his lines to title this post and some of my earlier posts.  I don’t think he’ll mind.  I’m his princess.

It’s not just the music that makes him a rock star, however.

I may have mentioned Amp’s struggles over the past years.  He’s never been able to stay organized.  The pressures of a deadline actually shut him down.  He suffers a bit from anxiety and depression which worsened with each passing year of fighting to pass his classes.  For years we’ve struggled with ways of helping him.  Crying out to teachers, most of who blamed him.  Heck, up until a few years ago, we did too.  Since then, we’ve discovered he has EFD – Executive Function Disorder.  The more we read, the more we realized people with EFD usually have a high IQ (yep) and usually are depressed because the disorder is keeping them from excelling.  (yep)   Suddenly we knew he couldn’t HELP the way he was.  So my rock star hubby went to battle for him.  He’s spent hours and hours explaining Amp’s situation, begging the teachers to at least understand him.  Hubby explained that we don’t necessarily want special treatment, but we DID want them to step outside their box, and possibly assess his knowledge in a way that didn’t require a multitude of assignments and deadlines.

Amp’s ACT score of 30 helped our argument.  Most teachers were shocked to see how well he did, because his grades weren’t reflecting it.  WE were not surprised at all.  He blows us away with his knowledge.  He always has.  So you can imagine how difficult it was for us to see him struggle in school.

Hubby’s dedication is obviously working.  Amp’s grades have improved.  The teachers are all on his side.  Hubby works with Amp to finish assignments – careful not to push him to the shutting down stage – and the teachers have been willing to accept the assignments as he gets them done.  Not wanting him to go through his senior year depressed and dejected, my hubby has committed to helping him through.  And it’s working!    His moods have improved tremendously.  He’s happier now and more willing to talk.  And with every passing day, his confidence improves

His teachers are going out of their way to help too.  Some have stayed over or come in earlier to help him get caught up.  One even came in on a Saturday.  And all have been surprised at how much he knows.  It was assumed he was being disrespectful and disobedient and choosing not to turn in assignments.  But WE knew differently.  WE knew he WANTED to be able to finish his work and assignments.  His issues just weren’t allowing him to.  It’s heartwarming to see the teachers come around to his side and realize there is more than one way to teach and assess.

My hubby’s work load has increased tremendously, but Amp is obviously benefiting from his help.  We all feel pretty lucky that by working from home, he is able to dedicate so much time to helping Amp.

Amp has been a trooper as well.  He’s very appreciative of his dad’s help, and will battle through his assignments.  It helps that my hubby fights along side him.

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I had to sneak a pic. If Amp knew I was taking his this, he would have fled the room.

I am beyond proud of the two of them.  Amp turned 18 today.  He and a bunch of his friends are attending their first major LAN party.  An overnight deal being held in the IT School he’ll likely attend in the fall.

He left the house smiling and talkative and very confident.  THAT’S the Amp I know and love.  I have a good feeling I’ll be seeing more and more of this Amp in the days to come.

And I owe it all to my hubby.  My very own rock star.  I’m a lucky girl.

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13 Comments

Posted by on November 15, 2014 in Family

 

Tags: , ,

13 responses to “We Run Together

  1. agg79

    November 15, 2014 at 2:54 am

    Wow. Hubby is definitely rock star caliber. I admire his dedication and love for Amp to help him work through his issues. That takes some real love. I have always said: Any guy can father but it takes a real man to be a Dad. Your prince charming deserves some extra loving (or cupcakes).

    I hope that Amp finds his niche. Not everyone is cut to same mold and even the brightest ones follow a different path to achieve greatness.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 16, 2014 at 3:04 am

      He has thrown himself full force into helping our boys. It’s definitely not been all fun and games, but he’s never quit. We’re all lucky.
      As for Amp, growing up in a small community where everyone is cut to the same mold EXCEPT him, has caused a lot of self doubt. In fact, all our boys were affected. So to see them happy and content with themselves is a huge relief. And that should help them find their path to greatness.

       
  2. territerri

    November 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Oh my gosh, this brings me to tears! I’m so happy for Amp, and for you and your hubby. I know firsthand how hard it is to watch a child struggle year after year, trying to succeed in a traditional educational setting that doesn’t accommodate for those who learn differently. I can’t tell you how many times I was reduced to tears of frustration and sadness as we watched our son battle his way through school. We fought beside him too, and graduation day was one of the happiest days of his life! At least today, we can fight for our kids’ causes! Think of a few generations ago when a kid who didn’t keep up in school was automatically labeled ‘bad’ and a ‘failure.’

    I know I’ve said it before, but since high school and a failed attempt at community college, my son has found a job that fits his personality and style. He is doing so well there, and his level of confidence has soared in the past few years. I can’t tell you how much relief I feel every time he talks about what he does. I can see how content – and how proud he is of himself, finally. I’m so happy to know that Amp is on his way to a similar place.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 16, 2014 at 3:16 am

      I remember being thrilled for you (and Jake) when he began his new job. It’s amazing that when they start to ‘fit in’, they’re confidence soars. And when it soars, they are able to do great things. Amp lost his self pride throughout grade school when one teacher especially, made his life miserable because he wasn’t the ideal student who could sit in class 8 hours a day, and then do hours of assignments after school. She failed to see how bright he was, and instead, cut him down to no end. Each day, we saw bits of our carefree, incredibly curious, and quite intelligent little boy slip away. And no matter what we did, she wouldn’t change her ways.
      My hubby wasn’t backing down this time. But he really hasn’t had to. Amp’s teachers have been very willing to help, and are just as happy as we are to see him improving. We’ve got a long road ahead, but there is definitely some light at the end of the tunnel. And I hope one day he’ll be as proud of himself as we are.

       
  3. Abby

    November 17, 2014 at 3:04 am

    Very very nice! I’ve always felt that education starts at home, and you guys are living proof!! And I knew from my short meeting with Amp that he has an intelligence that likely goes unappreciated in a typical school setting. Happy Birthday to him, the future looks bright! (He can take it from Chaco – college is SO much better than high school).
    Nice going, Rock Star and Princess. Like Captain and Tenille?? Okay, maybe not…

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 18, 2014 at 2:47 am

      Mrs. English Teacher was the first teacher to appreciate Amp and didn’t expect him to be like the typical student. She was the first to give us hope. Hubby has continued the fight, and even though he’s working beside Amp in the above pic, Amp is actually explaining his statistics homework to him. Hubby’s just helping him stay focused, encouraging him, and giving him confidence. It’s a great thing.
      As for college, we all agree a typical school setting is not going to work. When he visited the tech school in St. Louis, he loved it. Learning in a hands on environment is so much better for him. And there are very few assignments! His ACT score is also allowing him to “test” out of the gen ed classes, which is a good thing. Keep your fingers crossed for him. He’s a great kid.

       
  4. Rock Chef

    November 17, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Good stuff and well done everyone!

    Just knowing what you are up against is a huge help with things like this, as you can do what you have now done and work out new strategies for dealing with the problem.

    The LAN party sounds great – hope he has lots of fun!

    It is nice that your Rock Star hubby has got something recorded in a good place. Years ago I was in bands who wanted to record stuff. I hated the studio with a passion, I just wanted to gig! And all we have now is a couple of cassette tapes with rapidly decaying recordings on them…

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 18, 2014 at 3:01 am

      Exactly! Knowing his “issues” have a name, and realizing he’s not the only one who has these difficulties, has at least made him feel better about himself. The LAN party turned out to be somewhat of a bust. They had issues with the server. Ha! In a tech school, no less. There were 350 kids and young adults there, and they weren’t able to play the tournament. But I think they had fun anyway. And they’ll be back next year.
      As for my hubby, he actually didn’t like the studio. He prefers to play live too. But I wanted to have a recording of his songs, and thought it would be good for our kids to have as well. Honestly, I like the live stuff better, but the recordings are well done, and I listen to him on my way to work quite often. 🙂

       
  5. Anita

    November 18, 2014 at 3:43 am

    This post is a testimony to how different we all are, and that we should not be too quick to judge. I’m very happy for Amp, and for you and your Rock Star husband, too! 🙂 All of us who are parents know that feeling of anxiety when one of our little darlings has an issue.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 18, 2014 at 4:08 am

      As a former teacher, I know how difficult it is to modify your teaching and grading techniques to accommodate multiple learning styles. And now, I’m seeing how difficult it is for some students to modify themselves to fit in a typical classroom. What saddened me the most was seeing his self pride slide downhill so fast! Amp has tons going for him. He just needed someone to believe in him. Well, someone other than mom and dad.

       
  6. Practical Parsimony

    November 20, 2014 at 7:21 am

    As the mother of a son who was NOT learning to read, I understand your frustration and pain. I knew my son was brilliant, even in first grade. Finally, I spent one whole summer, the last trimester of a pregnancy, reading with him and listening, teaching him not to read.one.word.at.a.time. Teachers were upset with him. That did not help. Now, he is a high school English teacher and has taught at the college level. A parent’s intervention and continual devotion helped your child and mine. When I became a teacher and he was long gone, I loved teaching GED because I could help students, old and young, to excel.

     
  7. llcooljoe

    November 24, 2014 at 7:08 am

    See there are some good men out there. What a great post. I’m wondering now if my younger daughter has Executive Function Disorder. I’m going to look into it.

     
    • shadowrun300

      November 25, 2014 at 2:42 am

      It was such a relief for all of us that Amp’s issues had a name, and that he’s not alone. He no longer blames himself for “failing”. He’s more patient and understanding of himself, and the teachers are too. Because of that, he is now shining. The work he turns in, although well past the deadline, is top notch. He’s getting the chance to prove his intelligence, and it’s been awesome for all of us.
      There’s no cure, but if you know what your disabilities are, you can adjust and adapt. And sometimes it just helps to know others are like you. Let me know what you find out about your daughter!

       

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