Like Mother, (not) Like Daughter

28 Oct

Growing up, I was extremely shy and very self conscious.  I had little self esteem and worked quite diligently to “hide” from people.  Speech class in school was the worst.

The days leading up to my speeches were excruciating.  My stomach was in knots, and I could think of little else except how I was going to be a failure in everyone’s eyes.  I proved myself right with my 7th grade speech.  My words came out shaky and all askew.  My not so sympathetic teacher didn’t help.  “We couldn’t understand anything you were saying,” she said to me, with the whole class listening attentively . Or at least I assumed they were.  They were 7th graders after all, so now that I think about it, it was quite unlikely they heard anything I said.

Anyway, with proof under my belt that I was worthless, I continued to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.

So I am in complete admiration of my daughter’s confidence.  From the time she was little, she loved to be in the spotlight.  At three, she hopped up on stage with a friend and sang “You Are My Sunshine” in front of hundreds of people.  She came down, full of smiles, and exclaimed, “I love being on stage!”

And she’s kept that up throughout the years.  She’s auditioned for many plays, and has acted, sang, and played piano in front of people all her life.

Her social skills are a hundred times better than mine ever were, and I have to say, I am SO relieved.  There are times when I think she may be too self absorbed, but I’d much rather her be that way, than grow up meek and timid like I did.

Last week, she had to deliver a how-to speech to her Junior class.  She baked cupcakes to bring in so she could teach them different ways to frost a cupcake.  Her teacher recorded the speech and let her bring it home to critique herself for extra points.

When I asked her how it went, she answered,  “When I watched my video, I thought “I’m adorable!” I mean, there were places I repeated myself, but overall I was good!”

I had to laugh.  There is NO WAY I would have watched a video of myself when I was 17.  Even now, though I’m more confident than I’ve ever been (which doesn’t say much), I would NOT want to watch myself on TV.  I don’t even like pictures of myself.

And here, she says she’s adorable.

Love it.

Self esteem 1




Posted by on October 28, 2015 in Uncategorized


14 responses to “Like Mother, (not) Like Daughter

  1. Anita

    October 29, 2015 at 1:57 am

    Love the image! 🙂

    I can relate to this post. I was the shy child, too, although I had a certain comfort zone that I had/have where I talk non-stop! It seems that the more confident I am about a subject, the more I talk… obvious, right? 🙂

    Anyway, what would the world be like without your precious daughter and others like her! They contribute the brightness and excitement; however, maybe the rest of us contribute the calm?

    There is a book that I will eventually read called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

    I can imagine that you are proud of your daughter and enjoy that part of her that you didn’t quite have.

    • shadowrun300

      October 30, 2015 at 1:30 am

      Oh, don’t get me wrong. I can talk. Just not in front of multiple people. 🙂
      I’ve always admired my daughter’s ability to accept herself as she is. She’s certainly not perfect, and knows it, but I rarely hear her cutting herself down. Instead, she makes jokes about her flaws. Not sure where she got he self acceptance from, but I’d love to have a little of that in me.
      I’ll have to look into “Quiet”. I think my 3rd son would be interested in it as well.

      • Anita

        October 31, 2015 at 6:59 pm

        You sound like me. 🙂

  2. Abby

    October 29, 2015 at 2:44 am

    Ha! I love her critique!
    Public speaking is a fearful subject for many. I’m glad that schools seem to be using it more than when we were kids, to help students feel more comfortable with it. Still, there are plenty who will always be self conscious about it. How great that Mario delivers “like a boss!”

    • shadowrun300

      October 30, 2015 at 1:09 am

      My hubby just read me a quote he found: “My self-esteem is so high, when I’m giving a speech I imagine myself naked instead of the audience.”
      I still feel uncomfortable with public speaking. When the attention is all on me, I get nervous as heck. Mario most certainly got her public speaking ability from her dad. He tells me he rocked speech class too.

  3. Rock Chef

    October 30, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    In this age where poor self image seems to be rampant you should be over the moon that your daughter is “adorable” and knows it! Good for her!

    • shadowrun300

      November 1, 2015 at 4:25 am

      I am over the moon with my daughter. She’s just a good kid, and I’m thrilled she’s confident in herself and her abilities. I’m a lucky mom. 🙂

  4. territerri

    October 31, 2015 at 2:50 am

    You know you’ve done something right when your kids turn out to be an improvement over yourself at the same age. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I experience the same feelings when I look at my kids.

    • shadowrun300

      November 1, 2015 at 4:29 am

      Nothing makes you prouder, right? Although, I doubt it was I who did something right. I think I just got lucky. (See? I need a little of her in me.)

      • territerri

        November 1, 2015 at 1:00 pm

        So funny! I have often said the same thing about wishing there was more of Kacey in ME!

  5. llcooljoe

    October 31, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    How cool that she thinks she’s adorable! Long may that last! My younger daughter is very confident, well on the outside, but I’m not quite so sure of that’s not just a front.

    I would hate to see a video of myself, photos are bad enough!

    • shadowrun300

      November 1, 2015 at 4:33 am

      I wonder sometimes if Mario has some self-doubt deep inside, but then she’ll tell me how fantastic she is… so no, probably not. lol
      I hate looking at pictures of myself, let alone a video of me talking in front of a group of people. Nothing sounds more torturous.

  6. agg79

    December 5, 2015 at 1:11 am

    You know my motto: The nut doesn’t fall very far from the tree. I have been a closet speaker like you. Never one to seek the podium. It wasn’t until I went for my MBA and they had a speech class and encouraged everyone to enroll in Toastmasters that I actually became almost comfortable (key word being almost) in front of a crowd. Still have knots in my stomach, just smaller and more manageable. Good to hear Mario is not as petrified over public speaking. That could help her go far in life.

    • shadowrun300

      December 8, 2015 at 1:12 am

      As soon as I know the attention will be on me, my heart stops pounding. I’m sure with practice it would get better, but I have no desire to practice. :/
      Funny, though – I have no issues with talking to people I don’t know when I’m at work. There, I can step outside my comfort zone and work the room like no other. I can’t explain it.


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